The Dark Side of The Moon
by Jasper'sPrincess213
Summary: Bella is much stronger than she thinks. When Edward tries to leave her in New Moon, she understands what he’s doing and gets him to stay. Everything is great until she realizes that they just weren’t meant to be. J/B Story. Rated M for language & lemons.
1. Enter Sandman

**Author's Note: **This is my first fanfic so I'm a little nervous. Please leave me a review and tell me what you think. A special thanks goes to my wonderful Beta cullen818! Without your help I doubt that I would have the guts to post this!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or the characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 1**

**Enter Sandman**

This was just another reason to hate my birthday. What a fiasco turning eighteen turned out to be! It would've been perfectly fine if people would've just listened to me and not made such a big deal, but of course _I_ could never know what was best for _me_. I was just a silly, fragile, human teenager with not much experience in the world.

Okay, I know that wasn't fair. I know that Alice just wanted to make me happy in her own way; and I know that it was out of love that the Cullen's threw me a birthday party. But you would think that my best friend would know how to make me happy by now. The whole party was definitely more about making everyone else happy than about my happiness. If it had been about me, it wouldn't have even happened.

You would also think that my best friend would grant me one simple wish on my birthday. I just wanted to treat the day as if it were any other: nothing special, definitely nothing extreme; just the same as yesterday and tomorrow. Was that so difficult? _Obviously it was._

Edward didn't even try to help me; instead, he totally took her side and made a big deal of the stupid party. Doesn't anyone understand me? Does anyone really know me or care about what I think or feel? After that horrible day I highly doubted it. Since then I have felt so alone. Yes, Edward was here; but he was so distant. I haven't even seen another member of the Cullen family since that horrible night. How long was this going to last? I couldn't take much more.

I knew Jasper didn't really want to hurt me. Now he was going to doubt his control even more, and it was all my fault! How could I be so careless?! I should've been more careful with opening my presents! Something so simple, and yet, I was still able to screw it up with my clumsiness. I knew that if there was a way to be injured, I would find it.

When Jasper lunged toward me, I knew that I was safe; that I would be protected. Don't get me wrong, I was scared out of my mind; but I knew that Edward or any other Cullen family member would protect me from being drained completely. Maybe I was unconsciously hoping that he would bite me and I would become one of them. So close, yet so far away. That would definitely have fixed this impasse business between Edward and me.

I hoped this didn't cause problems in the Cullen family. Oh who was I kidding? I knew that Edward was mad at Jasper, but I hoped that they could work this out. I hoped that the rest of the family was being supportive. I was sure that Alice had her work cut out for her, trying to calm down Jasper.

It was now my second night without Edward here; trying to find sleep was beginning to feel like an Olympic sport. After my restless night last night, I had hoped that the Sandman would take pity and visit me tonight. He could put me into a deep sleep that would make me forget all that was going on around me. I needed to forget about the dull, throbbing pain in my arm, my increasingly distant boyfriend and my seemingly absent extended family. My arm still hurt from my most recent injury despite the aspirin that I've been taking on a regular basis for the last two days. Edward has been so distant; he only talks when I initiate the conversation, and sometimes it's as if he doesn't even hear me talking. He always looks so deep in thought, but I've been too afraid to ask him what he's thinking about. Besides, I'm pretty sure that it has to do with my birthday party, since that is when he started becoming quiet and distant. It would help if I had seen Alice recently, she would be able to tell me how to fix this; but she hasn't been to school and I haven't even seen a Cullen, other than Edward, since my birthday party.

My body felt so lethargic, but my mind refused to shut down. Without Edward here to comfort me and hum my lullaby, sleep continued to evade me. The turmoil that refused to leave my thoughts was making me grasp the notion that tonight would be no different than the last; it would be just as restless. I turned over onto my stomach and hugged my pillow firmly, catching the red glow of my alarm clock; 2:17am. Great, I was going to look like a zombie in the morning!

I hugged my pillow closer to my body wishing it was Edward. It was too soft and warm. I tried to flip it over to feel coolness against my face, but it just wasn't cool enough. My thoughts drifted from Edward, but not very far.

Where was Alice? She hadn't been at school for two days now; that didn't seem right. I had so many questions for her. I wished she would call me at least. Then it dawned on me; why didn't I just call her?

I slowly raised my head from my pillow and listened for any noise in the house; nothing. I crept out of my warm bed into the cool air of my bedroom. Before going any further, I decided to peak outside in case Edward decided to show up; no such luck. It was raining lightly, but I still had a clear view of the empty yard that was lit with the orange glow of a street lamp. With a soft sigh, I gradually made my way to my bedroom door. Holding my breath I listened again to hear Charlie snoring quietly in his room. I let out a breath of relief and silently opened the door.

Tiptoeing down the dark hallway, I realized that Charlie was, in fact, a deep sleeper and I didn't need to go to so much trouble to silence my steps. I quickly made it downstairs and turned toward the kitchen. Through the window I could see the moon shining brightly; I let my gaze follow the path of light into our small kitchen, landing on my destination. The bright white light of the moon was shining on the phone making it shine as if it were just out of the box. I hoped that this was a message from a higher power that I was on the right path.

As I walked to the phone I let my mind wander again. I hope she answered her phone. What if Jasper was still doing really badly? Would she be mad at me for causing his pain? I needed to talk to someone, and Alice was the best choice because she understood the full situation and could give me some much needed answers. Not to mention that she is my best friend. Besides, it was way too late to call someone like Angela; she was probably having a great night's sleep, and I didn't have the energy to come up with lies in my story to cover for my vampire family. Since Alice didn't sleep, she was definitely the only one who could help me at this late hour, but I was still slightly nervous to call her.

Taking a deep breath, I lifted the receiver from its base to my ear, and raised my now shaking right hand to dial Alice's number. I waited for three rings. Maybe she was busy? Maybe she was too angry to talk to me?

"Hi Bella," her solemn voice rang clear, sounding similar to tinkling wind chimes, over the line. It amazed me how her voice could still sound so beautiful even when she was obviously upset. I slowly let out a breath that I hadn't realized I was holding in. All the anger I had been harboring for her regarding my birthday party vanished instantly.

"Alice? S-sorry to bother you, I just need to talk to someone before I lose my mind." I whispered in a rushed, gravelly voice; hoping she would understand what I was saying.

"I know. I knew you were going to call," her quiet voice admitted sadly.

"Are you mad at me Alice?" I questioned cautiously, quickly adding, "I understand if you are."

"No! Bella, I'm just having a difficult couple of days. You're my best friend and I miss you."

"I miss you too," I exclaimed quietly as I felt tears start to form in my eyes. "Why haven't you been at school? Is Jasper still upset?"

"No, he's fine now. How is Edward?" I wasn't expecting that. _Wasn't he at home with her?_

"Actually I was hoping you could tell me. He hasn't been here for two nights now and he is so distant at school. Isn't he at home with you?"

"We're not at home Bella." The words crashed into my mind, the prickling in my eyes vanished as I felt my hands begin to tremble in alarm and dread. _Where else would they be?_ _Why wouldn't they be here?_

"Well where are you then? Haven't you talked to anyone else who is at home?"

"Edward is the only one of us remaining in Forks. The rest of us are in Denali." _What?_

"Okay… well when do you guys plan on coming back home?" _Please be soon. Please be soon._

After a brief pause she whispered, "I don't know if we are."

"What's that supposed to mean?" _How could she not know? She is a freakin psychic!_

With a sigh of exhaustion she answered, "I've already said too much. This was a bad idea; I shouldn't have answered your call."

"Alice, please! I don't know what to do! I'm freaking out, my boyfriend is being distant and now my best friend and new family are gone without a word! Please tell me what's going on!"

"I can't Bella," she sobbed. "I've seen so many different futures happening, and most of them aren't good. I don't want to make things worse."

"I'm sorry. I just don't understand what's happening and I don't know what to do." That sounded whiny even to me.

Alice didn't seem to notice, or at least she didn't say anything about me sounding like a helpless child. I waited for her response, but nothing came.

"How is the family? Are they all mad at me?"

"They're mad," she scoffed, "but not at you of course. You haven't done anything wrong Bella, well other than date a temperamental vampire." I could hear the joking smile return to her voice at her last statement; it made me smile.

"How are you Alice? What have you been doing? Is there any good shopping in Denali?"

She giggled, "I thought that you didn't like shopping Bella? You wouldn't be trying to butter me up, would you?" she teased.

I could feel the blush in my cheeks immediately; thank goodness she wasn't here to witness it. "No, I've just missed you so much! At this point I would even be willing to play Bella Barbie." I answered sheepishly.

"I'm fine, shopping is okay. And I'm holding you to that invitation for a later date."

"Fine, but if I have to actually endure that torture I expect payment; information to be exact."

"Bella…" Alice warned.

"Just humor me, please. What happened after I left on my birthday?"

She hesitated. It was so quiet; I almost thought that she had hung up on me. As I felt my heart rate begin to race, she began. "Well, after we got Jasper to come home, we had a family meeting."

There was another long pause. "And…?" I coaxed.

"And, we talked about what happened during the party." _Duh!_

"Well what was said Alice?" _Do I really want to know the answer to that?_

She took a deep breath, "It was obvious that Jasper needed to be removed from Forks for a while, but that's the only thing that we all seemed to agree on. Nobody _wanted_ to leave; but nobody wanted Jasper to be left alone with his guilt. You know how he struggles and we were afraid that he would give up on our way of life. So we all decided that it was best to come with him, for support.

"We were really sad to leave, but we do what we have to for family." She hesitated; then continued. "I don't know how long we'll be gone, only that we won't return until we're all able to." _Well that was a little cryptic._

"Haven't you seen how long it will take Alice?" I asked skeptically. I could feel my heart rate pick up again. _Why wasn't she giving me clear answers?_

"I already told you Bella," Alice started with a stern voice, as if she were dealing with a petulant child. "My visions keep changing. We may not even come home! This can end in so many various bad ways that I can't seem to keep a grip on reality."

"I know I messed up! I'm sorry for causing this! Please tell everyone that I'm sorry, especially Jasper. I'll stay away from the house if it will be easier for him; but _please_ don't just stay away! I love all of you!" I was starting to feel frantic and couldn't seem to control the flow of pleas rushing through my lips.

"I know you love us Bella, we all know. I promise it will get better, I can't give you any details, but I know it will. Can you please just trust me?"

"Of course, I could never bet against you Alice."

"Good. Now all I can say is that you need to find some inner strength. You'll need it for the next couple of days. You also need to get some sleep. It's already after 3:00 in the morning," she scolded.

"I know, thanks Alice. I'll try again, but can I call you tomorrow?"

"I was already expecting it," she giggled, but it sounded a bit strained. "Now get some sleep and calm down, everything will work out fine," she said reassuringly. "Oh yeah! You will have a pop quiz in Spanish tomorrow so be ready. Angela could help you study at lunch."

"Thanks Alice. What would I do without you?"

"I don't know Bella. Good night."

"Good night."

I hung up the phone feeling a little bit lighter, but only a little. A small weight was lifted off of my shoulders, but only a pea in the whole crop that was my burden.

Pieces of my conversation with Alice replayed in my mind as I stealthily snuck back to my room. The family wasn't mad at me. At least, according to Alice; but she had never given me reason to not believe her before. Everyone was gone other than Edward; except that Edward was really gone in all but body.

After closing my door and snuggling back under my covers, I remembered all of my questions that I forgot to ask her; they mingled with new questions that our conversation brought to the forefront of my mind. What exactly had everyone said at the family meeting after my party? Specifically what had Rosalie said? What visions did she have of the future? Were all of them bad? Why was Edward so gloomy? Was it because he missed his family or something much worse?

I guessed that they would all have to wait until I could call Alice tomorrow. For now I needed to follow her advice and get some sleep. Tomorrow promises to be a challenging day and if Alice was right, it would probably require a herculean effort. No more throwing pity parties for myself, it was time to be a new Bella, a stronger Bella. Alice said I needed to find my inner strength and that I would need it tomorrow. I was determined to find it, even if I wasn't sure why I needed to do it.

_I was leaving the girls locker room at school as the final bell rang to end the day. I stepped out of the building and into the light drizzle that was beginning to fall. I looked around for Edward but he wasn't there. Weird, maybe he got held back after class. Without much worry or thought, I headed toward the parking lot to meet him at his car._

_I kept my eyes on where I planted my feet to keep from falling into the mud, when I heard a musical laughter ahead of me I stopped short. Standing not fifteen feet in front of me was Edward and he was surrounded by a group of guys, they were all laughing. Included in the group were Mike, Tyler, Conner, Ben and Eric; none of them acknowledged my presence, not even Edward. _

_I slowly made my way to the group, bypassing a large puddle that formed between us; and walked up to Edward's side, where I found Jessica nestled under his arm! _

_Edward continued talking to the group without even acknowledging me. I reached out to grab his hand, but he stepped away from me. "Edward? What are you doing?" I asked him quietly._

_No answer. He didn't even acknowledge my presence; Jessica looked at me with a sly smile. "Edward!" Now I know that he has been distant, but he would never ignore me like this; and he would _never_ give Jessica the time of day!_

_He slowly turned to face me; the look on his face was pure annoyance. "What do you want, Isabella?"_

"_What's going on? Why are you holding onto Jessica!? You never call me by my full name! And, you know I need a ride home, you drove me here today!"_

"_You can get a ride from someone else. Just leave me alone! Can't you take a hint? I don't want you anymore."_

"_And what about _her_?" I sneered._

"_Oh, Jessica? She's just a pretty little distraction."_

_His words shocked me. I heard a scream and I shoved Edward with all of my strength. I plowed right into him and we both fell to the ground. I then proceeded to raise myself up slightly and punch him continuously in the chest. _

_I wasn't sure if the wetness on my face was from the rain or my own tears. I could sense his new group of friends watching us but refusing to pull me off of him; good. I realized that the screaming that I heard was coming from my own mouth, originating deep within my chest. Edward didn't hit me back, he didn't even try to stop me. He just lied there with a mask of confusion and horror._

"_I hate you so much! Why would you embarrass me like this! Why don't you love me?" I never stopped long enough for him to give me an answer. I didn't want an answer; I wanted him to be hurting as much as me._

_I heard sirens in the distance. How would I explain this to Charlie? How did he get here so fast? The sirens got louder, but they didn't sound quite right. _

_I looked down at Edward and he was gone, only to be replaced with my bedroom floor._

I shook my head to clear it for rational thought. It was a dream; only a stupid dream. Of course I could never actually push Edward to the ground. He's a freakin vampire! And I would never purposely hurt him. Hitting him like I did in my dream would actually only cause me serious injury, not him; but I still wouldn't ever attempt that either. I swear my dreams get crazier by the day.

I slowly crawled back into bed from the cold floor. My alarm clock was still blaring showing the time to be 6:08am. I turned it off and let my thoughts wander to shake off the uneasy feeling of that dream. I thought of the meadow and the first time that Edward told me that he loved me. A smile stretched across my face. I'm sure everything will be okay if we can just get through today. I was going to talk to Edward today and we were going to resolve these issues.

I stretched my hands above my head and brought them down in front of me. I smelled the salty copper before I saw the blood trickling slowly down the side of my palm. As soon as I saw it, I ran for the bathroom holding my breath. Stumbling towards the sink, I turned on the water and let it clean my new wound. It was only a small slit that was already clotting over to stop the blood from flowing out of it.

With a sigh I reached into the medicine cabinet for Neosporin and a Band-Aid. While doctoring my wound the thought occurred to me; Alice told me to find my inner strength. Could this crazy dream mean that I found it? No, I didn't think that what I did in that dream is the kind of strength that she meant. But I was determined to find that strength and make it through the day successfully.


	2. Believe

**Author's Note: **Thank you so much to all who have read, set up a story alert, marked this as a favorite, and especially those who have reviewed this story. Each and every one of you put a smile on my face. It really does mean a lot to me that you are enjoying my story.

I forgot to mention this in the last chapter, but the titles for each chapter are the titles of songs that inspired me while writing and set the mood for each chapter. Last chapter was named after the Metallica song Enter Sandman and this chapter is named after the Staind song Believe. From now on I will note who the song is by in my Author's Note.

I would also like to take this time to thank my wonderful beta cullen818. You're awesome! Thank you for your wonderful grammar skills, your regular words of encouragement and being _super_ fast this week. You make my writing so much more readable.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight or the characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 2**

**Believe**

I dragged my feet across the yard and got into my beloved truck to drive myself to the prison that is high school. I wished Edward had shown up this morning to drive me; I felt like he was slowly slipping away from me. He hadn't been around at night and when he was near me during the day I felt like he was not really there. His gorgeous body certainly was, but he barely spoke and his eyes said that his mind was somewhere else, far away.

I wasn't sure exactly what to do, but I did know that I was willing to fight for our relationship. My goal for today was to get Edward to talk to me and work out our problems; or at least get him to tell me what his problem was. It was hard to be specific when I had no idea what those problems were, but I was determined. I knew he loved me, I refused to believe that he didn't after all that we had been through together. He had saved my life more than once from attacks by vampires and the car accident in the school parking lot; besides I was sure that he wouldn't be able to control his thirst for my blood as well as he does if he didn't love me.

I know it's hard for him to be around me sometimes because of the string effect my blood has on him; but I was hoping that will get him to change me so he wouldn't have to be so uncomfortable being near me. I couldn't imagine getting old and him staying forever young. I wanted him to change me so we could spend eternity together happy and in love. I knew we would get past this because we _had_ to. I could _not_ live without him. I needed him more than I needed air to breath.

I hummed the _Rocky _theme song on my way to school; I still hadn't bothered to learn how to use my new CD player yet. I knew it seemed silly to hum fight music when you were looking forward to seeing your boyfriend, but it helped to calm my mind and get it ready for the hurricane that I had a feeling would blow between Edward and me today.

I pulled into the parking lot to find Edward leaning against his car waiting for me. He was so beautiful standing there; even with the blank look on his face, hiding all emotions he looked like a long forgotten god. I was still not sure what I did to deserve his love; but I was determined to spend the rest of my existence trying to find out.

I parked in a space across the aisle from him and shut off my truck's roaring engine. Taking a few deep breaths I reminded myself that I could do this. I could handle anything that came my way; I believed in myself. And I had faith in our love; Edward and I would get through this, whatever _this_ was.

Taking one final deep breath I grabbed my back pack and shoved my heavy truck door open. With an ungraceful step down, I tripped and stumbled into Edward. I hadn't even noticed him approaching my truck. He was staring off into the woods on the far end of campus; thankfully, he didn't seem to notice my clumsiness.

Suddenly his nostrils flared and his gaze shot to my face. His eyes were dark as night and his expression was angry. I could see the muscles in his jaw tighten as he slowly lowered his eyes to take in my body. He gently grabbed my injured hand, and pulled it up to his face for closer inspection.

While peaking under my Band Aid, Edward sighed. "What happened this time?" he asked exasperatedly.

"I had a bad dream," I answered quietly. Edward looked at me skeptically while I bit my lower lip waiting for his response. His eyes were lightening back into their usual brilliant topaz, so I was sure that he wasn't too upset.

"Last time I checked, bad dreams don't cause physical injury," he said skeptically. "Why are you cut?"

"I fell out of bed and something on the floor must've cut me," I tried to explain. "I think it was a loose floorboard or something."

"What am I going to do with you?" he asked aloud.

I shrugged my shoulders and gave him a weak smile. "Love me?"

He gave me a small smile. "Always," he said so quietly that I barely caught it.

Edward continued holding my hand and we walked silently to class. He didn't even bother to ask me about my bad dream. On our way I heard him murmur something about "never safe, no matter what I do." That last part troubled me. Did he really think that I was that hopeless to never be safe? Or did he think it was unsafe to be near me? Does this have to do with why he is so distant? I was filled with questions today; and I was determined to get some answers. The school bell rang in the distance, signaling it the beginning of the school day.

The morning dragged on longer than usual. I spent most of my morning ignoring what was going on around me; I have no idea what was covered in any of my morning classes. I couldn't focus my mind on anything other than Edward and what he could be so upset about. I'm sure that it has everything to do with my birthday party and what almost happened that night, since that is when all of this started. But, I wish he would let it go; no harm, no foul. I'm still human and I forgave Jasper immediately. Knowing Edward, this still wasn't enough. What can I say, or do, to fix this?

It was lunch time and I wasn't feeling very hungry; in fact, I wasn't feeling anything other than my nerves. They were so strong that I was nauseated and antsy. I wanted to get this day over with so I could deal with the more important issues currently in my life.

I looked at my lunch tray ladled with a grilled cheese sandwich, a bottle of water and an apple. The thought of eating any of it sent my stomach into a cyclone. Edward looked at me out of the corner of his eye with an annoyed expression on his face and I realized that I was bouncing my foot on the floor; I stopped mid-bounce.

"Sorry," I mumbled as I felt the blush growing in my cheeks. I turned to the opposite direction quickly and found Angela and Ben approaching our table with their lunches. I was so relieved to have a friend like Angela; she always appeared when I needed her the most. I don't think that I could take much more of the silence at our table. My life had been unusually quiet the last couple of days and I craved conversation.

"Hey guys! Mind if we join you?" Angela asked.

"Please. I haven't talked to you in ages! I miss you," I answered.

A bright smile came over her face and she sat directly across from me with Ben at her side in front of Edward. "I miss you too. So what's new with you guys?"

I started telling her about my birthday party the other day, but only bothering to mention the good parts. Well, what was supposed to be the good parts. I told her about the cake and presents and the semi-surprise of it all. When I was finished I noticed that Edward and Ben were having their own conversation about the project that we were starting next week in Chemistry.

"That's great; sounds like it was a lot of fun! I didn't even know that it was your birthday, I feel bad." Angela replied.

"That's okay," I shrugged. "I don't like to make a big deal out of it. What have you been up to?"

"Not much really; just school and babysitting. Ben comes over every afternoon and we hang out and do homework together. Sometimes he makes me watch anime with him."

I giggled. _The things we do for love._" Yeah, I've been pretty busy too; with work and school. We should get together soon and go to Port Angeles or something. It could be fun."

"Sounds good to me, but I'm busy this weekend; maybe next weekend? We have a half day that Friday, we could go right after school." She sounded so excited; maybe we she needed some girl bonding time as much as I did.

"That sounds great. I just have to make sure that I have the day off work." The thought of getting out of town for a couple hours with Angela sounded like pure bliss. She had a way of making me feel better and forget my troubles.

The bell rang indicating the end of lunch and we gathered our things to head off to our next class. When I took my lunch tray to the garbage I noticed that I hadn't eaten anything. Still not hungry I threw away my food but kept my bottle of water.

"Why aren't you eating Bella?" Edward asked with a concerned look on his face.

"I had a big breakfast," I lied. Knowing that he could detect my lies well, I turned to head out of the lunch room quickly. He kept up with my pace, but didn't comment further on my lack of appetite.

The rest of the day seemed to drag out even longer than the morning had. I didn't bother to pay attention to the lectures in my afternoon classes either. I was beginning to mirror Edward's most recent behavior – there in body, but not in mind. Instead, I opted to stare at the clock and will it to move faster. The longer I looked at the clock the slower the second hand would move. A couple times I swore it moved backward for a tick. At this rate I would live out the remainder of my mortal life in this old drafty building!

This would be a great time to develop a superpower to control time. Then, I could just skip to the part of the day when I confront Edward about his recent behavior and demand answers. But, since I was amazingly average Bella Swan, I guessed that I would have to wait it out.

Finally the last bell of the day rang, loud and clear, releasing us prisoners for the weekend. I jumped out of my seat and made a dash for the door. Once outside a fresh breeze awakened my thoughts and I remembered that I had to work this afternoon. Now I only had to get through work and then I would finally get to talk to Edward and see what exactly his problem is.

I walked out to the parking lot at a fast pace, still being careful to watch where I was going. The last thing I needed now was to end up in the hospital; I refused to let anything deter me from my goal for the day. When I got to the parking lot I found Edward waiting for me by my truck.

"I need to talk to you about something," he stated flatly.

"Okay, but I have to go to work. I get off at 7:00." _Finally he was going to talk to me! And I didn't even have to bring it up myself._

"Can you meet me at my house when you get off?" he asked, sounding a little unsure.

"Sure. But I better get moving so I can get to work on time," I answered enthusiastically.

"Okay," he sighed as he kissed my forehead goodbye.

"See you then," I said through the smile that wouldn't leave my face. Now I wouldn't have to force it out of him, he was ready to talk.

He opened my door for me and helped me into the cab of my truck. With a final kiss on my hand, he walked off toward his car.

I drove to work in a much better mood than I had been in for the last four days. Right before I pulled into the parking lot I remembered the envelope of pictures that was sitting on the seat of my truck ready to be mailed off to Renee. I didn't want to forget to send it, so I passed work and drove the two blocks to the post office.

I made quick business of getting the envelop into the mail and returning to my truck. With that out of the way I was ready to get to work and see if I could make the time pass any faster than it had at school. Now that I know that Edward and I will have a talk later my outlook on everything has improved greatly. Just a couple hours to collect my thoughts and then we can work everything out.

After parking on the side of the store in my usual spot, I headed inside and directly to the time clock. I was ready to start my shift and get it done with. Mike still hadn't shown up yet, but his mom was there stocking hiking boots.

"Hi Mrs. Newton; how are you today?" I asked while putting on my name tag.

"Oh, hello Bella; I'm fine, just finishing up with these boots. How are you?"

"I'm good," I answered with a smile. "Is there anything that I can help stock?"

"No, thanks; this is the last of it." she said gesturing to a small pile of boxes. "Do you mind cleaning up the shelves under the cash register? They're completely unorganized."

"Sure, not a problem," I said and headed toward the front of the store where the counter was.

She was right, it was an utter mess! I stared at the chaos for a moment trying to figure out where to start. The bell on the door jingled alerting me to the entrance of Mike. He gave me a huge smile and headed straight toward me instead of the break room where the time clock was located, even though he was already late for his shift.

"You're late Mike," Mrs. Newton called from the back of the store.

"I know, sorry Mom." he called back. "I'll be back there in a second."

"Hey Mike, what's up?" I asked unsure why he was still avoiding starting work.

"Well you looked kind of out of it today and I saw that you didn't eat lunch." he started explaining. "So I got you this." he held up a small bag with a grin on his face. "I figured it probably wasn't anything that a little sugar and caffeine couldn't fix."

He reached into the bag and pulled out a king sized Snickers candy bar and a liter sized bottle of Diet Coke. At the sight of the candy my stomach let out a small grumble. I took his offering graciously and grinned at him from ear to ear. "Thank you so much Mike. I think you're right, this is exactly what I need."

"No problem; just glad to help." he answered. "I better go clock in and get to work so my mom can go home."

"Okay, thanks again," I said still grinning. _I really do have great friends._

I took a long drink of my soda and a large bite of my candy bar before getting back to work. Mrs. Newton left the store in a hurry and I finished my cleaning quickly. Since it was a quiet day at the store Mike and I just hung out and talked about school.

Mrs. Newton called to check in with us around 4:30, to see if we were keeping busy. Mike told her how slow it was and she asked him to double check that we had gotten all of our cleaning and organizing done. After Mike reassured her that the store was in top condition she told him that I could leave if I wanted.

I wouldn't have minded staying to finish out my shift on any other day because I did need the money, but today I needed something else even more. I needed to have this talk with Edward done and over with. I asked Mike to thank Mrs. Newton for me and retreated to the employee break room to clock out.

With a final wave to Mike I left the store and got in my truck to go home. I know that I was supposed to meet Edward at his house after work, but that wasn't for another two and a half hours. I took my time to drive home, going a little below the speed limit with my window open to enjoy the fresh air.

When I got home I grabbed my back pack and went in the house. I didn't bother to close the truck window since I would be leaving again today. I went into the kitchen and sat at the table for a few minutes contemplating my next move. _I should call Edward and see if we could talk now instead of later._

I had to talk to Alice first, though. Hopefully she could give me some insight before I called Edward and let him know that I got off work early. I pulled the phone receiver so hard from its cradle that it almost fell off the wall. My anxiety was reaching new levels and I needed to calm myself before I spoke to Alice. I carefully set the receiver back on the cradle and shook my arms at my sides while taking a few deep breaths.

I reached for the receiver again and before I could lift it, it started ringing. Stunned I waited for two rings before answering it. I then slowly raised it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bella, it's Alice; I saw you were going to call and thought I would beat you to it." Her beautiful voice rang over the line sounding much happier today.

"So I take it that you know why I'm calling," I stated hesitantly.

"Yeah, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that you're worried about your talk with Edward."

"Well… any advice?" I was getting a little scared at this point.

"Sure, but anything that I say isn't going to make it any easier."

"That bad, huh?" This was beginning to sound hopeless. _Why did she sound so cheerful?_ I could feel the moisture building in my eyes. "Alice is this going to end badly?"

"I don't think so Bella, but I'm still not positive. I still see two definitely possible outcomes."

My tears started flowing freely down my cheeks. "What do I do? How do I fix this?" My tears were evident in my cracking voice.

"Please don't cry Bella. You're the only one who can create the positive outcome, but you have to be strong and put your foot down."

"That's it? That's your advice? Great, cause I'm _so_ good at that!" my voice was drenched with sarcasm.

"Bella, you're stronger than you give yourself credit for! Stop crying and pull yourself together! Crying is not going to help you."

"Fine, but can you at least tell me what he's going to say, please?"

"No, you need to hear it from him. I'm already too involved and this is between the two of you."

I sniffled loudly and wiped my tears from my face. "Fine, if that's all the help you can give me I better go. I should call him so we can get this over with."

"I love you Bella. You're my best friend. Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not. I'm just frustrated, but I do understand where you're coming from. I just want this to be over. I want to go back to being happy."

"It will be over soon, I promise," she consoled. "Just remember your strength of heart."

"I will. Can I call you later?"

"I'll be expecting it. Now go get him!"

I chuckled. Surely she wouldn't be so happy if this was going to be too bad. "Talk to you later, Alice."

"Bye Bella."

After hanging up the phone I made my way upstairs to the bathroom. Looking at my reflection in the mirror it was obvious that I had been crying. I washed my face with cold water and brushed my hair. Not much of an improvement, but it did help a little.

I made my way back downstairs and to the phone in the kitchen. Without another thought I picked up the phone and dialed Edward's number.

"Bella? I thought that you had to work this evening." Edward's cool voice chimed over the line.

"I did, but it was slow so I came home early. Can you come over here for our talk?" _Please say yes, I don't think I can wait long enough to drive over there. _My anxiety was rising exponentially.

"Sure if you would prefer that. Maybe we could go for a walk together."

"Okay that sounds good. When will you be here?" _Please hurry._

"Give me five minutes."

"Sure. I'll be ready when you get here."

"See you then," he said before hanging up abruptly. He didn't even say 'I love you', this is definitely _very_ bad.

Those five minutes were the longest of my life. Longer than any of the minutes that passed today at school; longer than any time I've spent in the hospital for any various injury; they were complete torture. I was sure that time itself stopped and just waited, watching me struggle to keep my composure.

I walked toward the front door and put my shoes and jacket back on, taking extra time to tie my shoelaces perfectly and adjust my jacket three times before I finally heard Edward knock on the door. My heart rate sped to an all time high as I opened the heavy door to reveal my solemn boyfriend.

As if on cue, it started raining. Not normal rain; this rain was coming down in sheets instantly forming small puddles on the street. _Well so much for taking a walk_.

Edward gave me a soft smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Never mind on the walk; can we talk inside?"

"Sure." I answered while opening the door wider to allow him inside. I quickly kicked off my shoes and hung my jacket back on the hook.

Edward closed the front door and waited for me to lead us into the kitchen. Before sitting at the table I stopped at the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. I wanted to be prepared in case this took a while. I sat at the table and waited for Edward to begin.

He took a deep breath. "Bella we're leaving."

"Who's leaving?" I asked, although I was starting to think that I already knew the answer.

"My family and I," he stated flatly.

So this is why he's been so distant. I already knew that the rest of the family was gone, but I thought that they would be coming back. I was _sure_ they were coming back. _Why would they leave without saying goodbye? Be strong Bella, you can change this._

"Where are you going?" I asked. "I'll come with you."

"You can't come where we're going. You belong here with your father," he said this with absolutely no emotion.

I could feel my tears forming in my eyes. "No, I belong wherever you are," I stated desperately.

"We aren't good for each other Bella." He sounded so heartless when he said this; but I know that he can't mean that, we are so perfect for each other.

"What do you mean? We're meant for each other!" I was getting frantic now and my tears were flowing freely, dripping down my cheeks and onto my shirt. _How could he possibly believe the shit that was coming out of his mouth?_

"No, Bella, we aren't the same," he continued in his callous tone. "You're too vulnerable in my world." _Hell I'm vulnerable in every world! I'm clumsy and uncoordinated!_

"That's what I have you for," I answered with a small, halfhearted smile. "You always protect me."

"The problem is who will protect you from me?" he asked. _Well that was unexpected! He has always shown such great control around me._

"I don't need protection from you. You love me and would never hurt me," I tried to reason with him.

"Is that why I wanted to drain you dry when you were cut on your birthday? I did a great job of protecting you then didn't I?" he asked heatedly.

That stupid party again! If I had gotten what I really wanted then we wouldn't even be having this problem! No party equals no issues due to a damn paper cut! I was really getting angry now, this was all so avoidable!

"Yes! You did. I'm safe and human; you weren't the one who tried to attack me, you protected me!" My tears were still falling; this was beginning to feel like a losing battle.

"If you were truly safe from my thirst that night I wouldn't have had to leave while Carlisle took care of your injuries! I would've been able to sit with you and hold your hand like any normal human boyfriend would have!" he explained. "Mike Newton would've been able to do that at least." _Oh My God!! I am so sick of hearing about Mike Newton! Why would Edward in all of his glory ever have a reason to be jealous of Mike? This is getting beyond absurd; he's beginning to borderline insane._

"But you're failing to realize that I don't want Mike Newton! I want you! I love you!" I pleaded.

"Bella you can't survive in my world! You are human!" he shouted at me. He was getting so angry; I wasn't sure how to handle this conversation. _How can I argue my safety considering recent events?_

"I think that I've been surviving pretty well so far. So if you insist on leaving, then I'm coming with you." I tried to make my voice sound assured, but failed miserably because it was still shaking from my crying.

"I don't want you to come with me." _Bullshit! I know better than that! He has to love me, this all couldn't have been a lie; it just couldn't!_

"What the fuck, Edward! Stop lying to me! Are trying to tell me that you magically stopped loving me in three days?! That's asinine! Everything was perfectly fine before that stupid party. Can't we just forget about it and move on?" _Please say yes!_

"No, I can't forget something so horrible. You almost died! Or have you forgotten that?" _This is not going how I had hoped it would._

"I remember," I mumbled. _But I also know that he's lying; he does love me. I've got to redirect this conversation._ "Look me in my eyes and tell me you don't love me." _Oh, this might hurt; _a lot_._

He looked down at his hands resting on the table, clearly hesitating. Slowly he brought his sad gaze to meet mine and said, "I'll always love you in a way…"

"Bullshit! I can see it in your eyes! You love me and I love you; everything else we can figure out together." _Why was he being so damn difficult?_

"I'm no good for you. I don't want you to come with me," he explained.

"You _are_ good for me. I don't want anything without you; and I will follow you anywhere whether you like it or not."

Edward let out a loud sigh, "Please try to be reasonable; this is for your safety. You will move on, be happy, and have a normal human life." _Why doesn't he get it?_

"I don't want a normal, human life! I want you! You're all I want! Why can't you see that?"

"You will want to be normal eventually," he argued, "have kids and a real family. I can't give you that so why delay the inevitable? This is what's best for you."

"Don't you think that I should get to decide what's best for me?" I asked defiantly. "I don't want kids; I don't want anything other than you! Like I said, we are meant for each other and I refuse to let you go."

"Bella, why are you being so unreasonable? I'm doing this for you. You're right I do love you and I want the best for you. You might not want kids and a family now, but you will. You aren't safe around my kind, and all I care about is your safety. Please let me go; it's the best thing that I can do for you." His eyes were pleading with me to agree with him. _But I just couldn't._

"You're the unreasonable one here," I argued, "I love you, you're my world. I refuse to move on; I'm never giving up on us. I only want you. If I lose you I will lose half of myself. I refuse to live without you." _It just isn't possible for me to exist without him._

Edward sat silently for what seemed like an eternity, staring at his hands again. The only sound was the downpour outside and the ticking of the kitchen clock on the wall above the phone. I took a small drink from my water bottle and used my sleeve to dry my slowing tears. I know that he was trying to come up with a further argument, so I waited. This pause has given me hope that he will see things my way.

"You do realize that my family has already left and has started new lives somewhere else," he stated.

"Yes, but I also know that they would come back if you decided to stay with me," I countered.

"How are you so sure? It was me that got them to leave," he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Because I have a psychic for a best friend who probably has already seen the outcome of this conversation and knows that either I will come with you or you will stay with me."

After a moment, Edward let out a small chuckle, "You're right. Well I'm sure they will be back here soon. You _are_ still in high school after all, so you need to be here. Besides what would we tell Charlie if you were to suddenly leave?"

I smiled as big as my mouth would allow and jumped out of my chair into Edward's arms. "I love you so much! Please don't ever do this to me again."

Edward leaned down and kissed me passionately. I wrapped my arms around him and held as tight as possible never wanting to let him go. After breaking the kiss for much needed air I rested my chin on his chest and continued, "Next time we talk this out before it gets this far. We could've fixed this days ago and saved the family from moving unnecessarily."

Edward kissed my forehead and answered, "Okay love, whatever you say. I don't ever want to go through that again." He squeezed me tighter and a smile spread across his face. "I love you."

"I love you too, forever."


	3. Not Fair

**Author's Note:** Thank you so much to all who have read and reviewed this story. The song for this chapter is Not Fair by Lily Allen.

It is important that you understand that this story is rated M for a reason. This chapter contains a lemon and mild language. This will continue in later chapters as well. If you are not of age to read mature content or if you don't like lemons please don't read this chapter.

I would like to take this time to thank my amazing beta cullen818. You're the best!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or the characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 3**

**Not Fair**

Edward and I held on to each other tightly while we remained standing in the middle of my small kitchen. My mind was filled with thoughts of love and devotion; I had no thoughts of ever letting go of him. I was so happy with myself because I had finally stood up for what I wanted and to my surprise I actually won! I could feel a surge of pride and strength run through my soul. I was crying tears of joy and Edward held me even tighter while he continued to whisper in my ear that he loved me. I could feel his cool breath blow lightly on my hair with his declarations. This moment was perfect and I wanted it to last forever.

Suddenly, Edward's pocket began to vibrate. I didn't want to let him go and I could sense his reluctance to move his hold from me as well. Who dared to ruin our perfect moment? The vibrating continued and with an exasperated sigh he pulled the phone out of his pocket and answered it.

"Hello Alice, I'm a bit busy right now," he paused to listen and sighed exasperatedly, "okay let me put you on speaker." Alice! I couldn't figure out if I wanted to be mad at her for her interruption, or continue my grateful feelings for her help in this matter that could have easily destroyed my life, heart and soul.

"Hey Bella, I take it you're feeling better?" Alice asked with a giggle. I couldn't help the feelings of love that I had at that moment for my best friend. Yeah she interrupted my special moment, but if it hadn't been for her help I might not have had this moment to begin with.

I felt an enormous smile spread across my face, "yes Alice, I am. What's up?" She obviously knew what she was interrupting so this should be important.

"Well Charlie will be home in about twenty minutes and we won't be back home until Sunday. So if you want to have some real privacy I can get Charlie to let you come over to our house for the weekend." It's official! My best friend is a Saint! Not only did she help me to help myself when all odds were piled against me, but now she is also going to get me a whole weekend of Edward all to myself! No Charlie, no supervision whatsoever!

Edward's arm around my waist pulled me closer to him as he asked, "And how do you plan on doing that?"

"Oh don't worry, Edward you know I have my ways. You need to get out of there before Charlie gets home. Bella will meet you at our house in about an hour and a half." Only an hour and a half, I can deal with that if it meant that we had the whole weekend to ourselves. But how could we possibly get away with this?

"Are you sure about this Alice?" I asked hesitantly.

"Have I ever given you a reason to doubt me before? Either of you?" she demanded. Well she had a point. I for one would never bet against Alice.

"No," we answered in unison and I began to giggle quietly.

"Good. Now Edward go home, unpack your room and get some groceries for the weekend. Bella I'll call you in five minutes on your house phone, go get started on making Charlie dinner," she commanded. Wow, she sure could be bossy for such a little fairy!

"Thank you Alice." Edward closed his phone abruptly and put it back in his pocket. He looked deep into my eyes and asked, "Do you want to spend the weekend with me?" Was he actually serious? Why would he even begin to doubt my want - no need - for him after the conversation that we just had? Was he mental? Have I not expressed my love for him in both my words and actions?

I locked my gaze with his fluidly topaz eyes and answered, "Silly Edward, of course I do."

A large smile spread across his face, he looked like a small child on Christmas morning. "Then I will see you soon. Would you like me to come back and drive you?"

"No, I think I can handle it. Besides, Charlie will need to see me drive away in my truck. You better go so I can get started on dinner. I'll see you soon." I smiled up at his beautiful face. When he didn't make a move to leave I added, "I love you. And you better get going. If you don't do what Alice says, I might not be able to get away."

That seemed to awaken him to what he needed to do. "I love you too," he said as he kissed my forehead, and then he was gone. I was left stunned for a moment at his sudden departure. I heard a soft click from the closing of the front door and remembered that I needed to get moving.

I looked in the kitchen cupboards and started grabbing ingredients for tuna casserole. It wasn't my favorite meal, but I always kept the ingredients on hand for a quick dinner. I set to work getting water on the stove to boil, preheating the oven, grating a large amount of cheese and opening packages of tuna. Once the water was boiling I stirred in the noodles and turned down the heat on the burner. I still needed to pack a bag for the weekend.

The phone rang suddenly and I remembered that Alice said that she would call me back. What else could there be? I was so excited and I could feel my nerves reach new heights. I was worried about how we were going to get past Charlie. I'm a horrible liar and Alice wasn't here to bat her long eye lashes at Charlie in order to bend him to her will. How were we ever going to pull this off? I ran across the kitchen and grabbed the phone off the hook in a hurry.

"Hello?" I answered quickly.

"Hey Bella, we don't have much time."

"I know I'm going as fast as I can. Some of us don't have vampire speed Alice." I teasingly reminded her.

"Whatever. You're doing great, but I have to explain to you how this will work. Also I have to tell you about my vision and we don't have a lot of time." Well at least she actually sees this working. I still had some small doubts, but they were being washed away by my confidence in my best friend. What was starting to scare me now was that she had a vision. Oh please let it be a vision of something good!

"Well hurry up then," I urged her on. I couldn't take the anticipation anymore.

"Okay first you will have to tell Charlie that the family is away for the weekend but that I decided to stay and go shopping with you tomorrow. He'll agree to this, no problem; but then it gets a little tricky. I'll have to call you right after dinner to tell you that I'm sick. You _cannot_ answer the phone. If you do then Charlie will know that something's up. If he answers the phone he will fall for my wonderful performance and have you come over here to take care of me." Oh thank God! She's the one that will be doing the acting; obviously this was the only way it would actually work. I swear Charlie could see through me almost as well as Renée always could.

I was amazed by Alice, yet again. How does she come up with this stuff? "Okay, that sounds easy enough."

"But wait, there's more!" she sounded really excited now.

"What more can there be Alice? You've already given Edward an alibi and me an excuse over to your house. Won't this all work?" I was starting to feel a trickling fear come over me now. I had momentarily forgotten about her vision in my happiness to accept her plan of escape.

"Well one of the many visions that I've been having over the last couple of days involves your alone time with Edward." I hadn't realized that Alice would be seeing our private moments. How embarrassing!

I was too afraid to ask. Is this one of the bad visions or one of the really bad ones? "Bella, don't you want to know about it?" Yes, no… I'm not sure. If it was good then most definitely! But, what if she had seen him try to leave me again? Could I go through another battle to keep him here? Of course I could! This is Edward we're talking about. I can't live without him, he is my everything.

"Yeah, I'm just a little scared. Is he going to try to leave me again?" _Please say no_.

"No silly, you fixed all of that," she exclaimed. I took a long, steady breath.

"Okay, is it good then?"

"That depends… do you still want to sleep with Edward?" She couldn't be serious! Was he actually going to break his own rule?! A strong surge of excitement spread throughout my body and I could feel a slight wetness form between my thighs and moisten my panties.

"Of course I do," I panted into the phone overcome by the lust that I held for Edward.

"Calm down," Alice laughed loudly. "Then you need to do exactly as I tell you. First when you pack your bag, please for the love of God pack a decent pair of pajamas and some of the matching underwear sets that I bought for you. He will appreciate it, I promise." I was so excited; I would wear one of those skimpy sets if it meant that I would get to sleep with Edward. I was _so_ ready for this next step. I know that he could control himself and it was time for us to express our love for each other in a more physical way.

"Okay what else?" I asked impatiently. I needed to know every little thing to do to make this easier for him and to ensure my success.

Alice hesitated for a moment. "Well, you're going to have to make the first move. He is still too old fashioned and doesn't want to take away your innocence."

I laughed out loud at that, my innocence? Edward was so cute sometimes with his old fashioned values. "Is that it? I think I can handle that."

"Yep, that's all I got. Have fun and we'll see you Sunday night before you go home."

"Thank you so much Alice. I would be so lost without you."

"You're welcome Bella, that's what sisters are for. I'll be calling Charlie right after dinner so hurry up and start packing so it won't take you so long once he says it's okay."

"I guess I'll see you on Sunday then," I said through my now huge smile.

I hung up the phone and walked back across the kitchen to check on the noodles. They were ready so I began mixing all of the ingredients together and put them in a large casserole dish. I made enough to last Charlie for the weekend since I wouldn't be here to cook for him.

Once the casserole was in the oven and the timer was set, I started making my way up to my room to pack for the weekend. I was so nervous now that I knew I would finally break down the barrier that Edward kept up between us in having a physical relationship. Was I going to be any good? What if I wasn't?

Alice wouldn't lead me in a wrong direction, this would go fine. I entered my room and went straight into my closet to retrieve my overnight bag. After placing it open on my bed I opened my underwear drawer and found a lacey bra that was a deep royal blue. This would be perfect! I searched the drawer for the matching panties and threw them both in the bag.

Suddenly the thought occurred to me that I hadn't asked Alice what my first move should be. What would actually work this time? I have tried before and failed. Do I need to go further, faster? Take it slower? I have no idea what to do! I was starting to freak out; I needed to call Alice back before Charlie got home.

That's when I heard the front door open and Charlie enter the house. My hopes were smashed further into the ground with every single one of his footsteps that I heard downstairs. There was no way to call Alice now that Charlie would hear every word of our conversation. If he ever heard me talking about being intimate with any boy he would probably blow a gasket and aim his shot gun for anything that moved. Nope, the only safe thing to do now was figure this out on my own.

Now I had to suck it up and get dinner over with. I had a small hope that Alice didn't have to tell me everything because she already knew that it would work out without her help. If it was important to tell me, then she would have. I decided that I better put my packing on hold. I tossed the bag back into my closet and closed the door. When I got downstairs Charlie was walking into the living room to watch some TV.

"Hey Bells, dinner smells good. Is it almost ready?" Charlie looked pretty tired; he must have had a long day at work.

"Yeah Dad, I'll go set the table." I quickly went into the kitchen and set the table, I could hear sports caster's commentary from the living room. The timer went off and I pulled dinner out of the oven. After I set the hot dish on the stove I began to quickly throw together a salad.

I called to Charlie, "It's ready."

I quickly made his plate and set it on the table. When I turned to make my own I heard him take his seat to begin eating. I was a little nervous to tell Charlie the lie that Alice provided me with. It's no secret, I'm a horrible liar. But then again, she did say that it would work. I built up my courage before I sat down with Charlie to eat.

"So Dad, do you have plans this weekend?" I asked, hoping to ease into the subject of the Cullen's being out of town.

"Yeah same as usual; Billy and I are going fishing on Sunday morning and then we'll be at his house watching the Hawks game. What about you?" Charlie was so predictable; this was one of the many things that I loved about him. I had already been counting on him going fishing with Billy like he did almost every Sunday that he could.

"Well," I cleared my throat, "the Cullen's are away on a camping trip and Alice stayed behind. We plan on going shopping in Olympia tomorrow."

"She stayed alone all by herself?" he asked skeptically. I could see that he was already having trouble believing this story. I really needed to take some kind of lying lessons! Maybe Alice would help me with the basics that seem to continue to evade me. I guess that it didn't help me much that I was lying directly to the Chief of Police.

"Yeah, she really doesn't like camping as much as the others. She says it's too dirty," I let out a small laugh with this explanation. "Besides there is some sale going on that she says she can't miss." I explained. This sounded feasible to me, and he knew how Alice was about her shopping so he should understand. I was beginning to calm down and let the lie flow from me.

"Well maybe she should come over here for the weekend. I don't like the idea of her having to be there all by herself for the whole weekend."

"Dad she's fine," I had to giggle a little, he has no idea that she can take care of herself should a stranger come knocking. "She's working on a school project and we'll be gone early in the morning tomorrow." This was not the time for him to get all worried about Alice. What if he wouldn't want me to go over there with her?

"Okay whatever you say Bells," he said as he started eating again.

We finished our meal quietly and I got up to wash the dishes and put away the leftovers. When Charlie was walking out of the room the phone rang loudly right next to him. I was thankful that Alice had her visions and knew the perfect time to call; if she had waited another 15 seconds he would have been in the living room and comfortable in his armchair already. I would've had to answer the phone and this wouldn't work.

Charlie stopped mid step to answer the phone, "Hello?"

I couldn't hear the other end of the call, but was relieved when I heard him speak again. "It's nice to hear from you Alice, I was just telling Bella that you're welcome to stay here for the weekend if you get lonely out there all by yourself."

Another pause, "Oh I'm sorry to hear that. Have you tried to call your parents?"

I really wish I could hear her side of the conversation with Charlie; it would help me with my nerves. I know that she was playing sick, but my stomach was tying into knots with anticipation. "Well that makes sense. Would you like to come over here? Bella could help take care of you."

That was unexpected. This could ruin the whole weekend. Why didn't I think that Charlie would offer to have her over even if she's sick? "You have a point. Well… I guess Bella can come over there. You really shouldn't be alone when you're sick."

Relief washed over me as Charlie said goodbye and hung up the phone. "Well kiddo, I think you may have lucked out. I doubt that Alice will be able to go shopping tomorrow," he said with a sad face.

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently.

"Well she isn't feeling well. She says she has a stomach ache and a fever. I tried to get her to come over here, but she says she just wants to lie in her bed."

"Oh… is that why you offered for me to go over there?" I asked.

"Yeah, she shouldn't be alone Bells. I know your company will make her feel better. Like I said, she shouldn't be going shopping tomorrow; but if she's feeling better just give me a call and let me know you're going." Well that is one call that I won't be making! A whole weekend with Edward all to myself, oh the possibilities. I had to cough to conceal the grin that was threatening to cover my face.

"Okay Dad. I'll go pack a bag after I finish these dishes."

"Don't worry about the dishes; I'll take care of them. Just hurry up and get over there; she didn't sound good and I'll feel better once you get there and call me." Wow he was really worried. I always knew that Charlie cared about Alice, but I guess that I had never realized to what extent. He seems to be as worried as a parent about her.

I bounded across the room and gave Charlie a kiss on the cheek. "I promise to call as soon as I get there."

He smiled and patted me on the back. "Go get packed sweetie."

I ran up the stairs and straight to my closet. I didn't really pay much attention to the shirts and jeans that I grabbed; I already packed my most important outfit for the weekend. After I grabbed my toiletries from the bathroom and some pajamas and more underclothes from my drawers, I ran back downstairs.

Charlie had already finished with cleaning the kitchen and was in his favorite chair watching game highlights. I leaned down and gave him a quick hug, "I'll call you as soon as I get there," I promised.

"Okay, take good care of her and call me if she gets any worse," he replied. I felt a little bad lying to him, but this was definitely for a good cause. My recently brooding boyfriend was back and I intended to celebrate that we were together and happy again.

I grabbed my keys and jogged through the still pouring rain out to my truck. Really how is it possible to rain so hard for so long? You would think that all of Forks would be under water by now! When I reached the truck I realized that I had left the window open and now the seat was soaked through. Why hadn't Alice noticed this little development? Or Edward for that matter, he walked right past it, twice!

I quickly threw my bag into my truck and jumped in landing on the soaked bench seat. After I started the engine I rolled up the window; although it was pointless now I was already soaked from head to foot. Without a moment of hesitation I pulled out of the driveway and drove as fast as my truck would allow to the Cullen's house. About halfway there I blasted the heat to try to gain some warmth. I turned all of the fans toward myself; the heat felt like thousands of needles on my skin. My clothes did nothing to hold in my body heat as they clung to my skin and dripped more water onto the seat beneath me.

When I arrived Edward was already waiting for me on the porch and as soon as I stopped he was at my door pulling me into his arms. For once I could barely feel the difference in our body temperatures. We were almost the same icy temperature and I was starting to feel numb tingles in my hands and feet.

"You're freezing," he exclaimed as I held onto him for dear life. Without another word he rushed me into the house and laid me on the couch. He disappeared for a moment and I took the opportunity to call Charlie and let him know that I got here safely and that Alice was okay. It was a hurried conversation and I was hanging up the phone as Edward returned with an armful of logs. He got to work arranging the logs for a fire and told me that my bag was on the floor under the coffee table and to go change.

I slowly dragged myself off of the couch and retrieved my bag. With a slow walk I made it to the downstairs bathroom and closed the door behind myself. I looked in the mirror and wasn't shocked to see that I looked like hell. I felt like hell. My skin was ghostly pale, in fact vampire pale, and my lips were a light grayish blue. My hair and clothes were sopping wet and dripping onto the floor. I looked like a reanimated drowning victim. Promptly there was a knock on the bathroom door.

"Bella, maybe you should use my bathroom." Edward called from the short hallway. "Then you could take a bath; the warm water would help in getting you warm faster."

I opened the door and I was instantly in Edward's arms. He carried me upstairs to his bathroom and set me on the side of the tub. He looked me over for a short moment taking in my weak form and reached past me to turn on the bath water.

"I'll be in my room if you need me," he explained. With a small kiss to my forehead he left the room.

I was still freezing although I could feel the steam already rising from the hot water falling into the tub. I stood up to peal my clinging clothes from my body. They were so heavy that it took what little strength that I still had to rid myself of them. Once my clothes were in a messy pile in the middle of the bathroom floor I carefully stepped into the hot water and relaxed into the tub.

My body took a long time to warm up from the frigid temperature that had been caused by the rain. As soon as I felt a little warmer I reached to the side of the tub and turned on the jets. If I was going to take a bath in this luxurious tub then I was going to enjoy it. Next to the jet controls were bottles of bubble bath and oils. I wondered for a brief moment why a man would have these things, but since they were all scented like strawberries I figured that they were here for my use. I quickly added some strawberry bubble bath and leaned back to relax further.

I heard Edward knock on the door again. "Bella, is the bath helping?" he sounded so worried.

"Yeah I feel a lot warmer now. I'm just going to relax for a few more minutes."

"Can I come in and bring you some warm clothes for when you're done?" he asked a little hesitantly.

"Of course Edward," I answered with a very small giggle. '_You could come join me too_,' I added silently. I was thankful that he still couldn't read my mind. If that fact ever changed I didn't know if I would be able to contain my thoughts around him. He definitely wouldn't appreciate what he heard when I slipped.

Edward opened the door and was obviously trying to not look at me; he kept his eyes squarely on the floor. After quickly depositing my clothes on the counter he picked up my soaked outfit and made a beeline for the door.

"Edward it's okay to look at me," I explained, as if I was talking to a small child.

"No, Bella, it's not. It makes me think bad things to look at you."

I laughed, "Maybe I want you to think those bad things. Have you ever thought about that?"

"I'll see you downstairs Bella," he said in a stern voice before closing the door. Oh great, now he's upset. I wish that he would lighten up a little; sometimes he was just too serious for my liking.

I understand that he's over a century old, but you would think being surrounded by teenagers for that amount of time would have some positive effect on him; make him a little more at ease. If his choice to repeat high school and college numerous times surrounded by young, carefree people hasn't fixed this, just the fact that he lived with Emmett should make him a little more fun. That was one fun vampire! How could he have so little effect on Edward?

I decided I might as well get out of the bath now since the water was beginning to cool off. I got out of the tub, pulled the drain and dried off quickly. Edward had brought me my pajamas and a plain panty set, he must have missed the ones at the bottom of the bag. That was fine because frankly I was getting pretty tired and I wanted to be fully awake for that little escapade.

I dried my hair and got dressed. After I brushed my teeth I went downstairs to the living room. Edward was lying on the floor in front of the roaring fire. He had made us a spot there with blankets and pillows piled high. I lay next to him wrapped up in a warm blanket and snuggled into his side. He wrapped both of his arms around me a little too tight and pulled me onto his chest.

"What's the matter Edward?" I asked as I turned my face up to look into his eyes. He seemed upset and I hoped it didn't have to do with our little conversation in his bathroom.

He avoided my questions, stating, "It's late, you should get some sleep."

"No. We both promised to talk about things. Obviously something is wrong, you're holding onto me so tight that it hurts a little and you look upset."

Edward immediately loosened his hold on me, but only enough to stop being painful. The silence of the house seemed to magnify and surround us for an immeasurable moment; all I could hear was my own breathing and the crackling of the fire. We lay there holding onto each other; Edward lost in his thoughts and me waiting patiently for his explanation.

He was so quiet that I wasn't sure if I heard correctly. "I need to touch you," Edward whispered into my hair.

"What? You are touching me, Edward." I reminded him.

"That's not what I mean," he hesitated, "I mean I want to take our relationship to the next step."

Oh, _oh_… I am _so_ ready for that! "I do too," I shared with him. "Will you be okay with it?"

"I… think so. It will be hard, but I almost lost you today and it has changed me. I now understand what my life would resort to without you in it and I will do anything to keep that from happening again."

"Edward, you never lost me; remember? I refused to let you go," I reminded him.

"Yes, but for the last couple of days I have been preparing myself to leave you and I never want to go through that again," he explained.

"Me either," I agreed. "You're right though, I do need to get some sleep; I'm so tired. Can we talk about it tomorrow? Alice said that we have the house to ourselves until Sunday night."

"Of course," he said as he kissed my forehead. "Get your sleep, my Bella."

"Goodnight Edward. I love you," I sighed.

"And I love you."

I was asleep soon after I closed my eyes and it was a wonderful, dreamless sleep. I awoke to sunlight streaming in through the back wall of the living room and glistening off of Edward's skin. I didn't want to get up; if I had my way we would stay like this all day. His arms were still circled around my waist and my head was lying on his chest over his still heart.

"I know that you're awake Bella," Edward whispered into my ear. I could feel the coolness of his breath on my neck; it made me want to do naughty things to him. I was ready for Alice's vision to become a reality. I wish I had had enough sense to ask more about it like when it would happen and how to initiate it before we hung up yesterday.

I didn't say anything; instead I reached up and kissed him on the lips. It was a chaste 'good morning' kiss and I pulled back quickly. "So do you have any plans for today?"

"Well I had wanted to go for a picnic in our meadow, but with the rain last night I'm sure that it will need a couple of days to recover," he said. I bet it will; it was probably a swamp at this point. But why would we need the meadow? We already have privacy right here.

"Don't we usually go there to get away from everyone?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow at me in question; he looked so sexy when he did that.

I continued, "Well it's just that we _are_ away from everyone. We have this house to ourselves for the rest of the weekend. So what's the point in leaving?"

Edward laughed, "You're right, we have everything that we need right here." He kissed me on the lips and then the forehead before he stood up. "What would you like for breakfast?"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

After a quick breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast we cleaned up our messes in the living room and kitchen. We had a lazy morning after we both got dressed in comfortable clothes for the day. Since we had decided to have a quiet day at the house, Edward and I were planning to watch a movie.

"What would you like to watch love?" he asked me expectantly.

"It doesn't really matter much to me, anything without a lot of violence will do," I explained hoping that he would choose something without forcing me to help. I really didn't care what we watched as long as we were together.

He quickly grabbed a DVD and put it in. I didn't see what it was, but I was sure that it would be fine. I trusted Edward's judgment.

"If anyone asks, you picked this out and forced me to watch it," he explained seriously as he sat down beside me.

I tilted my head to the side curiously. "Why?" I asked my interest peaked. What could he have chosen that would embarrass him?

"Emmett would never let me live it down. It's a bit of a girly movie, but I love the book and this is a great rendition of it. "

As the opening credits began I understood why Edward was worried about Emmett teasing him; we were watching the newest version of _Pride and Prejudice_, with Keira Knightly playing Elizabeth Bennett. I began to laugh lightly, "don't worry I promise not to tell." I was happy with his choice; I loved this movie too.

"Hey don't laugh, you said no violence and every other movie I wanted to watch had a lot of violence!" he defended.

"It's a great choice, I love this movie," I explained and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

He pulled me into his side and we sat cuddled together to enjoy the movie. If I had known that they had this movie it probably would've been what I chose. My favorite part was Mr. Darcy's first marriage proposal outside in the rain. It was weird that I would like the rainy scene as much as I hated rain, but I couldn't help that. I know that it was a little different than in the book and that it was supposed to be a sadder part of the movie, but it was hot. The passion was evident in the scene and the whole background with the rain really added so much to the emotion between Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy.

I cried at the end of the movie. Even though I already knew that it would end happy, it gave me hope to see both couples overcome their obstacles and still end up together. It made me think of my relationship with Edward and the obstacles that we have overcome. We will end up together just like the happy couples on screen; I was sure of it. Edward kissed away my tears and held me tight.

After our movie was over Edward decided that although we were staying in the house for the day it didn't mean that we still couldn't have a picnic. So we went in the kitchen and made me a lunch of fresh strawberries, cheese cubes, crackers and a bottle of water. While I was packing my lunch into a picnic basket Edward went into the living room to start a fire in the fireplace.

When I entered the living room with my basket I found Edward in the middle of the living room floor sitting on a large blanket. The fire was already blazing and I could feel the warmth from across the large room. We sat for a couple hours; I ate my lunch slowly while Edward recited poetry to me. His voice was so smooth and it brought a whole new beauty to the words of famous poets. He also talked about what the world was like when he was human and how much everything has changed. He almost sounded sad at the changes in society decorum and propriety. This had me feeling nervous about my plans to through away our innocence, but he had expressed to me last night that he wants to go further so maybe his desires will be stronger than his sense of propriety.

I had a feeling that he was trying to say something else, like he was leading up to something, but he never did. Soon he started trying to get me to tell him more about myself, but what else was there? I had already told him about my life with Renée and he has been around to witness my life here with Charlie. He was the mysterious one, not me; my life was an open book.

Without saying much we cleaned up from my picnic lunch and went upstairs to Edward's room. I stopped in the first floor bathroom for a human moment on the way.

When I got to his room I found him lying in a bed. It was a beautiful, all white platform bed. The edges were trimmed in black, but the rest was the brightest white like the rest of the furniture in their house. The headboard was a button tufted, square of white fabric that stood almost as tall as me.

When did he get that? I didn't even notice it when I came in his room last night for a bath! I must've really been out of it to not notice this huge bed! It took up most of the space in the room.

"Do you like it?" he asked hopefully.

"Well yeah it's beautiful. But why do you have it, it's not like you sleep?" I asked.

"Silly Bella," he said as he flashed me his crooked grin. "You sleep. I only want you to be comfortable." That was my Edward, always thinking of me.

"I'm comfortable wherever you are," I explained simply. "This is just too much."

"Nothing is too much for you," he explained. "Now come over here and test it out for comfort. I can get something else if it's not comfortable for you."

Without further hesitation I walked over to the magnificent bed that now was the centerpiece of the room. It had all white sheets and a white down comforter. As I crawled to the middle of the bed Edward pulled down the blanket and top sheet to allow me to get the full effect. As I lay down I realized that the bed was complete with a pillow top mattress. Why the hell did we sleep on the floor last night if this was up here waiting for us?

"So how did I do?" he asked.

"Absolutely perfect!" I exclaimed. "Thank you. Now I'll never want to go home to my own bed."

He chuckled. "Maybe that was my plan all along," he said with a seductively raised eyebrow.

I gave him what was supposed to be a chaste kiss on the lips, but it quickly turned into more. When I felt Edward's tongue on my bottom lip I slightly gasped, which left my mouth open in invitation. As his tongue swept shyly into my mouth I ran my hands up his strong shoulders and into the hair at the nape of his neck. My fingers twisted into his already messy locks and pulled him deeper into the kiss.

Instead of pushing me away Edward's hands reached around my waist and pulled me closer. I could stay like this forever; in Edward's arms, pushing the limits that he set for our physical relationship. I suddenly felt a chill at the base of my spine and realized that Edward had his hand under the hem of my shirt.

Regretfully, I had to pull back to breathe. But Edward didn't stop! His hands began to creep up my spine, one after the other, as he lowered his head to my neck. He licked trails of sweet fire from my collar bone to my ear where he sucked on my earlobe.

I felt his icy breath on my ear as he asked me, "Who loves you?"

I wasn't sure what to say at this point. Was this sex talk? It seemed a little weird to me, but then again I was a virgin, what did I know? I didn't want him to stop, so I quickly answered, "You do of course."

"You're right I do," he agreed, "more than anything."

Suddenly he stopped. Edward let go of me and sat up straight. "I'm sorry, I'll be right back," he said with no explanation.

I was frustrated, no that wasn't a good enough word, I was _pissed_! He had come so far, we just broke down some barriers and then he ran out of the room. This was so not fair!

I waited… and waited. I finally gave up on him and looked out the large window facing the forest. The sun was low in the sky and twilight would be here soon. I felt slightly tired and was ready to wind down from the day and our most recent activities. Edward hadn't done much, but it was enough to have me hot and bothered.

I walked across the room and grabbed my overnight bag on my way to the bathroom. As soon as I closed the door I turned on the shower to an almost scalding temperature and hopped right in, enjoying the burning heat of the water. I began by washing my hair vigorously; I hadn't washed it last night and it was beginning to feel a bit oily. I took care to wash my face and body slowly and remembered to shave my legs thoroughly in anticipation of tonight's intimate activities. Tonight was my last chance to push through Edward's barriers before our weekend alone was over, and I was determined to make Alice's vision a reality.

Once I was clean I remained in the shower a few more minutes letting the hot water cascade down my back. It felt so relaxing as it loosened my tense muscles. Too soon the water began to cool down and I had to get out and dry off. I found Edward's hairdryer in one of the drawers under the counter and quickly dried my hair.

I wondered briefly why he would have a hairdryer. It had obviously been used, so I was sure that it wasn't here only for my convenience. I guessed Edward's unruly hair didn't get that way on its own. I chuckled to myself as I replaced it in the drawer.

I continued to take my time getting ready before I left the bathroom. I remembered to wear the matching underwear set that I packed in the bottom of my bag and put on a pair of shorts and a tank top over it. I figured that this would entice him with a little skin and be easy to take off quickly. I hoped it worked.

When I was finished I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror. _You can do this Swan. Alice already saw it, just go out there and handle your business._ Without giving another second to allow traitorous thoughts to float to the surface I turned and entered Edward's bedroom.

He was sitting on his new bed, a picture in perfection, with his back against the headboard and his legs sprawled out in front of him. There was a book lying across his lap. I must have kept him waiting a little too long.

I slowly made my way over to the bed. Edward was drinking in my appearance and seemed happy with what he saw. I noticed his eyes darken and he swallowed audibly. I hoped this reaction was lust for my body and not my blood.

When I reached the bed he pulled me into a passionate kiss. My hands found their way to his hair and tangled themselves in the contained mess. Edward gently pulled me to lie down on the bed under him without missing a beat. One of his hands glided up my thigh and brought my knee up to meet his hip, while his other hand stroked my hair. Our kiss deepened as I slid my tongue into his cold mouth. Our tongues performed a new dance that he had never allowed before. I could feel my hope rising as he pressed his hard member against my hot center.

His fingers gently trailed a path back up my thigh and grabbed my hip tightly massaging it in large circles. I let out a soft moan of pleasure. As soon as the sound left my lips Edward began to pull back. I had to think fast, I couldn't stop now. I was much too far gone and I knew that it was a possibility that we would make love as long as I pressed the issue.

While these thoughts swam through my mind Edward rolled off of me and lay on the bed on his back next to me, mirroring my position. I was determined to push through his defenses, and decided to take advantage of his compromising position.

I quickly climbed on top of him straddling his waist and bypassed his mouth going straight for his neck. I began to kiss and suck at his hard skin. The suction that my mouth was providing would have caused hickeys on a human, but Edward's beautiful skin showed no signs of my endeavors.

I didn't waste any time as I reached down for the hem of his shirt and pulled it up as far as possible without his help. My mouth moved from his neck quickly passing his bunched up shirt and arrived at his muscular chest. I paused momentarily to lick at his nipples and trace the muscles of his abs with my tongue.

Edward put his hands on my shoulders as if to push me off of him, but the force never came. He began to moan incoherently. I wanted to take my time and enjoy the sweet taste of his flesh, but I knew that if I didn't continue on my path that he would stop me. Well, he might try to stop me anyway, but I was hoping to get him too far gone to even consider it.

As my tongue reached the hem of his jeans I began placing hot, wet kisses on his lower stomach as my hands found their way to the button of his jeans. Amazingly my clumsiness didn't show its ugly face as I dexterously unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans quickly. Thankfully he helped a little by lifting his hips so I could pull them down easier. I continued my hot trail of kisses to his hips as I began to pull down his jeans and underwear at the same time.

"Bella," Edward moaned. "We can't do this. I can't hurt you."

I sat back and looked up into his face as I finished shedding him of his bottom half of clothing; he looked so torn. "You won't hurt me, just lay back and enjoy," I assured him. I hoped this would ease his conflicting feelings.

Without another word I proceeded with my kisses up his inner thigh. When I reached his hard cock I froze for a second. I'd never done anything remotely close to this before. What if I hurt him? Duh, Bella, he's a _vampire_, you won't hurt him.

With that thought I slowly began to trace circles around the enlarged head of his sex with my tongue. He tasted so sweet; it was almost similar to the taste of a lollipop. I wanted to taste more. I slowly lowered my tongue in a trail down his hard shaft. I had never seen a cock up close before and noticed that it had a lot of veins sticking up through his skin going in all different directions. When my tongue began to trace a rather large one Edward let out a loud groan.

At that moment I knew that he wasn't going to stop me. My happiness at our breakthrough only made me want to please him more. I trailed my tongue back to the tip of his cock and opened my mouth to take him in. His cold length filled my warm mouth instantly; the sweet taste was intoxicating. I couldn't fit him in all the way in my mouth so I gripped the base of his length with my hand.

Edward let out a loud moan as he grabbed the back of my head and twisted his fingers in my hair. I chanced a glance at his face; his eyes were black as onyx and locked on mine. Without losing eye contact I began to bob my head up and down his length, allowing him as far in as my throat would allow while using my hand to massage what remained outside my lips.

The thought of what I was doing turned me on even more and I could feel my arousal begin to accumulate on my panties. I continued to take as much of him as possible while allowing my sucking to get stronger the farther along that we got. I felt his cock begin to twitch in the back of my throat and he let out a low growl.

Within the blink of an eye Edward pulled me off of him and laid me on the bed on my back. He was no longer wearing a shirt and was already beginning to remove mine along with my bra. I leaned up and assisted him in my excitement. He gently pushed me back down and laid over me. While holding his weight on his forearms on either side of my head he began to explore my body with his mouth.

Edward began at the base of my throat and left a trail of cold, wet kisses to my supple breasts. The feeling was pure bliss. Before taking my nipple into his mouth he let out a cold breath causing it to harden instantly. When his lips finally met my nipple I let out a loud moan of pleasure.

Suddenly Edward jumped up from me and was across the room. I sat up slowly; completely confused. I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong.

"I'll be right back," he explained. Was he serious? After all that time that I just spent giving him pleasure; he was still going to reject me? I was so close! There is no way that I could turn off now. What was I going to do?

This was beginning to feel like earlier today when he just left me and didn't come back until I was done with my shower. Could a shower even help me now? No, I think that I was much too far gone for it to be of any help now. I couldn't believe he did this to me.

I slowly crawled under the sheets and turned toward the window to watch the sun go down. I felt so alone and unwanted. What was I thinking? He was never going to be with me physically. I didn't know how long I laid there feeling dejected; time ceased to hold much meaning in that moment.

In the midst of my thoughts I felt Edward lower himself onto the bed and climb under the covers with me. I didn't want to see his face right now. There was nothing that he could say to make me feel any better. I couldn't figure out what I did wrong and I was too scared to find out. I had had all of the rejection that I could take for right now.

I felt his breath on my neck and then his tongue began to trace my outer ear. As his arms circled my waist I began to feel hope; maybe he just needed some fresh air before we continued.

"I'm sorry I took so long love. It took forever to find what I was looking for," he explained as he turned me over. He was still completely naked and his eyes remained a full, deep black. I was hopeful that I hadn't ruined our chance to become closer.

Edward hovered over me and began kissing up my neck in a slow, torturous trail to my mouth. Once our lips touched in an intimate kiss he spread my legs and angled himself between them. We broke from our kiss to allow me some air, and as I took in a deep breath I reached my hands around his ribs and wrapped my arms around his granite back.

Chancing a look down I watched Edward put on a condom, this must be what he left to go find. I gave him a quizzical look.

"Well it took me a while to find one, but it looks as if Alice saw this coming. I found it in her nightstand," he responded with a grin.

I didn't care about the specifics; I was just happy to be sharing this moment with Edward and ready to get it on. I'd been waiting for this moment for far too long. I was starting to feel butterflies in my stomach. We were actually going to go through with this! I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a little scared. I had heard that it hurt, but I was sure that Edward would be careful with me.

Edward looked into my eyes for a moment. "Are you ready my love?" he asked hesitantly.

I couldn't speak, I was afraid that my voice would portray my sudden fear. I simply nodded my head while I nibbled on my lower lip. I wished that we could have a little more foreplay. I didn't feel like my body was quite ready. I had lost some of the mood while I thought that he had rejected me.

Edward repositioned himself above me for easy insertion. I held onto the back of his shoulder and leaned up toward him to give him a kiss on his chin. He turned his face down toward me quickly and kissed my lips hard and passionately, as he slowly began to insert his manhood into my core. I dug my fingers deep into his back to take away from the pain.

It was incredibly painful. I had no idea that it would hurt this badly; I'd never felt a pain before that could even come close to compare with this. I wanted to cry out, tell him to stop. I couldn't believe that I actually wanted this; I was the one pushing for us to do this. But, I remembered that the pain was supposed to go away after a few minutes. Those minutes couldn't pass fast enough. It felt like my insides were tearing apart, there was a slight burning and I couldn't take it anymore; I let out a small whimper.

Edward stopped instantly. "Are you okay?" he asked with fear.

Again, all I could do was nod my head. I wanted him to stop, but I knew that if I made him stop now that we would never try this again. I knew it was supposed to feel good eventually, so I just had to get past this pain first.

With a final plunge, Edward completely sheathed himself in me. I could feel when he hit my barrier and I couldn't help the scream that escaped my lips. The pain was now reaching into my stomach and I was beginning to feel dizzy. I could smell the rusty scent of my blood permeate the room. This couldn't be good.

I looked up into Edward's face to gage his reaction to the blood and saw his eyes shut tight and his jaw clenching tightly. His body was frigid and he let out a low growl. I was afraid; I didn't know what to do. Should I tell him to stop? Would he even hear me? This was beginning to feel like a mistake like Edward had said it would be. Is this how I would die? There was no one here to save me from my vampire boyfriend who was obviously fighting his blood lust.

I didn't move; my body simply refused to. Edward's posture slowly began to loosen and he regained his composure as he began to thrust inside of me again slowly and carefully. His gentle strokes began to become more familiar and started to hurt less as time went on. The pain was going away with each thrust and was actually beginning to feel pleasurable. Continuing on our slow pace Edward leaned down and kissed me, "I love you Bella. I'm so glad we decided to do this."

To say that his words were unexpected would be an understatement; but it made me feel a little smug. I had been right; he could handle this. "Me too, I love you," I answered him.

Edward continued to move in and out of me; never changing our angle, never changing speed, never changing anything. He stared into my eyes and I couldn't help but to feel a little bored. I wanted to change it up a bit, go faster or harder; I could handle it now. These slow repetitive movements weren't doing anything for my arousal.

Incoherent moans and soft growls escaped his mouth regularly. I figured that I should probably be showing the same amount of pleasure before he realized that I wasn't enjoying myself; I didn't want to make him feel bad. I joined him in filling the room with sounds of pleasure. He didn't seem to notice that all of mine were phony.

Before I knew it he stopped moving deep inside of me and released in a deep orgasm, there was no warning or build up. A loud growl left his mouth and, to be truthful, I was just thankful that it was over. I moaned and grunted along with him so he wouldn't feel bad that I hadn't enjoyed myself. But I don't think that this was something that I would ever want to do again. It just wasn't what it was cracked up to be. It was far too painful and I hadn't even been able to enjoy a release of my tightly woven desire.

Edward collapsed on the bed next to me breathing deeply. I just looked at him. Did he really think that was good? Well of course he did, he came! He slowly turned to face me and raised his hand to brush my hair away from my cheek.

"That was great," he exclaimed with a huge smile. "I'm so glad you got me to do that."

What could I say? I smiled and agreed, "Me too." I hated lying to him, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings, especially after I had wanted it so badly.

"I need to go hunt," he explained with a sad voice. "I didn't realize you would bleed so much. You should go take a shower and I'll get rid of these sheets."

"I'm so sorry Edward! That must have been excruciating." I really did feel bad, hell I thought that I was going to die for a minute there.

"No, it's okay love. I handled it, and it was so worth it. Just go take a shower and I'll hurry home after I hunt."

"Okay, I love you," I said with a smile. I wanted him to just go so I could get some sleep. This hadn't turned out how I had expected and I just wanted to sleep and forget about it.

"I love you too," he said as he leaned in to kiss me. I quickly kissed him back and got up from the bed to get into the bathroom for my shower.

I took longer in the shower than usual and let the water wash away the evidence of the loss of my innocence. I didn't bother with wearing anything revealing or sexual in any way, instead going for comfort. The last thing that I wanted was for Edward to come back from hunting and want more.

When I went back into the room Edward was gone and the bed was made with fresh linens. Thank God for small favors! I really just wanted to be alone right now and get some sleep. I crawled under the covers and curled up facing the large window. The moon was low in the sky and had a dark orange hue to it. I watched it climb higher into the sky as I let my mind wander over what we had just done. Through all of my thoughts, one was constant. I had a feeling that nothing would ever be the same again.


	4. Sunday Morning

**Author's Note**: Thank you everyone for reading this story. I can't help the huge smile that crosses my face with every story alert, favorite and review. Your reviews have made me feel so good when I would be worry about people liking this story. The song for this chapter is Sunday Morning by No Doubt.

I would like to take this time to thank my wonderful beta cullen818. You are my biggest supporter and always encourage me when I get overwhelmed. Thank you for all of your help and the wonderful recommendation you gave my story. You're beyond comparison!!!!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or the characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 4**

**Sunday Morning**

_I was running as fast as possible, but it didn't seem to be fast enough. My heart was racing and my breath was shallow. I didn't take the time to look behind me, but I could feel the evil presence chasing me, gaining ever so close. Fear rippled through my body, causing me to tremble and stumble through the thick expanse of trees and bushes. _

_I wasn't sure where exactly in the forest I was and the sun was setting rapidly, making long shadows fall onto the forest floor between the trees. I was panting for air as I saw a clearing not too far ahead. I picked up my speed causing a stitch in my side. I had to get to safety. Once I finally reached the break in the trees I knew where I was… our meadow._

_I knew at once that I couldn't be saved; my stalker was gaining ground behind me and I was too far from civilization to have a chance at escape. Suddenly I heard a deep, satisfied growl. I turned around to find Edward about 20 feet away from me with eyes black as charcoal, looking ravenous._

I awoke with a start. My breathing hadn't improved upon waking up. I tried to take in a deep breath, but choked when the air hit my dry throat. My heart was still racing, threatening to beat right out of my chest.

Two cool arms wrapped around my shoulders in an attempt to calm me. I still hadn't opened my eyes, I was afraid to look at Edward. The dream that I just woke up from was terrifying and I didn't want Edward to know that it was about him. I had never been afraid that Edward would hunt me down to drain me before, but the dream felt so real.

"It's okay Bella," a beautiful soprano voice jingled in my ear. _Alice_.

I opened my eyes to see Alice lying with me in the bed holding me close. I was so relieved that it wasn't Edward; I couldn't face him until I calmed down. She released her hold allowing me to sit up. After I rubbed my eyes, I took in the room to notice that we were alone. Where was Edward? I was glad that he wasn't here, but his absence confused me. Alice disappeared into the bathroom and returned with a cup of water that she handed to me as she returned to sitting next to me on the bed.

I gulped down the water in one long drink feeling my throat relax from the cool liquid. After setting the glass on the nightstand I turned to my friend, "Alice, I thought that you wouldn't be back until tonight," I stated questioningly. I quickly added, "Not that I'm unhappy to see you of course."

She hesitated, taking in my appearance. With a forced smile she said, "Well I had another vision about your activities last night and thought that you might need me."

"What?" I asked completely confused. "What did you see?" my second question came out slightly hysteric. Did she actually watch what we did last night? This was so embarrassing! I don't know if I'm ready for this conversation. I would rather go back to sleep if I wasn't so worried about repeating my nightmare.

"At first I didn't see anything; you completely disappeared from my visions! As soon as I realized that you were gone, we all got in the car to come home. We were all so worried," she paused briefly to take in a slow deep breath. "Then I saw what did actually happen last night. I was so relieved that you were alive, but I'm so sorry Bella. This is all my fault, if I hadn't told you what you needed to do to get Edward to have sex then this wouldn't have happened." She sounded so sad, but how could Alice possibly be so upset about my bad sexual experience?

I was torn from my confused thoughts when I heard Rosalie yelling downstairs. "You fucking make me sick Edward!"

"Language Rosalie," Esme chastised.

"What did I do this time Rosalie?" he yelled back at her, his tone showing how baffled he was. I wondered about that myself. Why did everyone seem so on edge? I turned to Alice for an answer. She looked so worried.

"Alice what the hell is going on?" I asked a little apprehensive. The fear resonating from my dream disappeared as the anxiety of the situation that I woke up to took over.

She looked away from my anxious gaze and tried to explain, "Like I said, I saw what happened last night. I saw what Edward obviously didn't. I know it was painful and I could tell that you wanted to stop. He almost killed you Bella! Then he continued like it never happened and didn't even ask how you felt or if you wanted to keep going!"

To say I was astonished would be a serious understatement. "Alice," I said calmly, "I'm fine. I'm the one who asked for sex. It's not Edward's fault that it wasn't what I expected."

"Bella, you were in so much pain!" she exclaimed.

I sighed, "Yes, it was painful, but that's normal when you lose your virginity. I don't imagine that it would've been any less painful with anyone else. It was the first time for both of us and I think that Edward did a great job controlling his bloodlust and strength." _Too bad he didn't do a better job getting me off, but that seemed to be the least of his concerns._

Alice gaped at me in astonishment. "Are you serious? It looked like the worst experience of your life! Not to mention that you almost died when the scent of your blood hit the air!" Oh! So that's what she meant by me disappearing from her visions, he came closer to losing control than I thought.

I couldn't help but let out a bitter laugh at her statement. "Alice it wasn't great, in fact I really didn't like it. But, I'm the one who wanted to have sex and I hardly think that it's fair for me to get mad at Edward for a poor performance. Besides I am very much alive, so no worries."

Alice burst into a fit of laughter, she was laughing so hard that she almost fell off of the bed. Thanks to her vampire reflexes she was able to catch herself before hitting the floor. "Are you serious? We finally found something that Edward isn't good at? I never thought that I would see this day!" she exclaimed happily.

"Well it was bound to happen eventually; you do have eternity to find his faults." I couldn't help but join in her laughter.

"I'm just sorry for you that it had to be sex that he's bad at. I mean did you like any part of it?" Alice asked, concerned.

"To be honest…. no. I had expected the pain, but I thought that eventually it was supposed to feel good. All I felt was bored and pissed off. It's one thing I definitely don't want to try again for a long time," I answered honestly. I knew that Alice would keep this between us. I just hoped that everyone downstairs couldn't hear this conversation over their angered yelling.

There was a loud crash from downstairs and we paused our conversation trying to find out what was happening. The argument picked up again and I turned my attention back to Alice.

"Alice, why is Rosalie so mad at Edward?" I could understand Alice's reaction to be worried about me, but what had Edward done to Rosalie?

Alice's face took on a look of seriousness, "I'm sorry Bella, but it's not my place to tell you Rosalie's story. I will tell you that everyone was upset by my vision last night. At first we thought that we would find you dead, but when Edward decided to not kill you I saw how he treated the situation. We all came home as fast as we could; we took turns trying to call Edward's cell, but as I'm sure you know he didn't answer it."

I was touched. I knew that I loved the Cullen's very much, but now I was beginning to see that it was a two way street. They loved me as if I was one of the family and rushed back to save me from Edward, even though I didn't need them to. I was very thankful to have such loving people in my life.

Suddenly there was the sound of someone outside the bedroom door, actually two some ones. They were talking in low tones but loud enough for my weaker ears to pick up, so they must have wanted me alerted to their presence. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but Alice took the time to explain. "I asked Jasper to stay outside the door in case you were too upset. I hope you don't mind, but I wasn't exactly sure how you would react this morning. There were still two possible outcomes."

"It's fine, Alice. I understand." Great, now Jasper knows every word that I said this morning! What if he tells Edward? Edward would be so upset and I don't want to be the cause of that, I still love him very much. I don't really know anything about Jasper other than he is married to Alice and he is supposedly the weakest in the family when dealing with bloodlust. Can he be trusted? Does he know that I forgave him for the incident at my birthday party?

Alice was quiet for a moment while facing the door. She turned to me and explained, "Jasper says that you're pumping out a lot of fear and confusion. Don't worry," she assured me, "You don't have to be afraid of him attacking you, he'll be fine. Just try not to cut yourself. Remember you are in a house of vampires."

"Very funny Alice," I said sarcastically. "I know that Jasper won't hurt me and I hope that you told him that all has been forgiven. My fear was only because he has been in the hallway and heard our entire conversation."

Realization dawned on her pixie face, "I promise he is trustworthy," she said with a wink. "Yes I told him more than once that you forgave him, but I'm glad that he just heard it from your mouth. He was hesitant to believe me when I passed on your message; he said that you shouldn't. He really is a stubborn jerk sometimes," she explained while rolling her eyes.

"So who's in the hallway with Jasper?" Please don't be Edward; I would die if he overheard our conversation. I hoped again that he was still downstairs and too distracted arguing with Rosalie to pay attention to what was going on up here.

"Emmett was trying to get in here. He's so worried about you, but Jasper explained to him that you're fine and will be down shortly. In fact, Jasper is baffled by the overall calmness of your emotions. We were all expecting the worst, but he says that you're calm and a little irritated," she explained.

"Oh," I mumbled quietly. I didn't want to go downstairs. In fact I wish there was a secret portal from Edward's room to my house so I could sneak away without being noticed. I wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone, I just wanted to go home and relax; I needed time to myself to get my head on straight. My body was aching and my head was starting to hurt from the unexpected events of this morning. To go downstairs meant that I would have to deal with all of the Cullen's.

This was so embarrassing! My first time ever having sex and I not only hate it, but wake up to a house full of vampires who know what happened and have an opinion about it. Of all the times to want a normal life, right now would be great!

After last night I was worried that Edward and my relationship would become awkward; or worse that he would want to have sex again. I'm not ready to go through that a second time and I don't want to hurt his feelings; but I never would've guessed that things would get this crazy. I needed to get downstairs and assure my family that everything was okay before this situation got even more out of hand.

The bedroom door opened slowly and a slightly disheveled Jasper peeked into the room. "Are you two lovely ladies ready to go downstairs? Now that Rosalie has vented, things are winding down and I know that everyone would like to see that Bella is okay."

Alice looked to me for my answer. "Sure I just need to get dressed. I'll meet you guys down there in a minute," I said as I got off the bed. The faster I could get this over with the better. I just wanted to go home and have some time to myself. I couldn't believe that Edward finally succumbed to my wants and gave me what I wanted, even though he said before was impossible. I was starting to wish that he hadn't, it seems to only be causing problems.

Alice and Jasper left the room so I could get dressed in peace. I quickly made my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth, wash my face and run a comb through my hair. I couldn't help but to notice the bruises on my hips and thighs from where Edward had grabbed onto me last night. I was thankful that they were in easy to cover up places. He would freak the fuck out if he saw them. I dressed quickly and packed my bag so I would be ready to go home as soon as possible.

After a quick sweep of the room to make sure I had everything I began my trek downstairs. Once I made it down to the second floor hallway, I saw Emmett at the other end escaping to his room from the first floor. I was happy to see him; he always knew how to make a situation not so bad with his carefree attitude. I flashed him a smile and a quick, "Hey," hoping that it would ensure him that I was indeed okay.

Emmett bounded down the hallway and took me up in a big hug. It felt nice to have such a warm welcome. He set me down gently and patted the top of my head. "Hey Bella, are you already leaving? What's the rush?" he asked while looking at my bag hanging over my shoulder.

I had forgotten that I was carrying it with me, "Oh no rush, I just have some homework to finish and wanted to spend a quiet day at home," I explained carefully.

"Why would you ever want to do that?" he chuckled trying to ease the tension.

"I'm just tired; it's been a long weekend," I explained before hesitating, I wanted to know why exactly Rosalie was upset with Edward and if anyone would tell me, it was Emmett. "Is Rosalie okay?" I asked timidly.

"Oh, yeah she's tough; don't worry about her," he said blowing off my question. "In fact, I was just coming up to check on her. She was really upset last night when Alice told us about her visions. She figured that the way Alice saw it played out that Edward took advantage of you." Why would Rosalie care? She never liked me, in fact she tried her damndest to ignore that I even existed unless she was trying to hurt my feelings.

"Wow," was my brilliant reply.

Emmett let out a small chuckle, "I know that you think that my Rosie is a ferocious, uncaring bitch, but she has a soft side and she hates when people are taken advantage of." This was definitely a side of Rosalie that I had never witnessed; but in being honest with myself I wish that I could.

I didn't have a chance to say anything else because as soon as Emmett was done with his little speech the door that we were standing in front of swung open to reveal a very irritated looking Rosalie. I was scared out of my musings by the sudden appearance of the very angry vampire. Rosalie quickly grabbed Emmett's forearm and began dragging him into their bedroom, I took a few steps back to allow him space. "I think that you've shared quite enough, Pooh Bear," she said in a bitter tone.

"See you later Bella," Emmett said with a smile as they both retreated into their room and closed the door. I was left in the hallway to return to my original path to the living room downstairs. I walked slowly dragging my feet to have just a few extra moments to myself. I really didn't want to deal with any questions about my recently started sex life this early in the morning.

I knew that every vampire in the house could hear me walking down the hallway and a certain one could probably feel my hesitation in coming downstairs to join them, but I couldn't get my feet to move any faster. By the time that I made it to the top of the stairs I found Alice next to me. She reached out for my backpack and took my hand in hers. She didn't have to say anything, her presence was comforting enough.

When we arrived in the living room the remaining Cullen's were seated throughout the room. Carlisle and Esme were seated together on the sofa holding hands, Jasper was reclining in a large chair near the TV and Edward was anxiously waiting for me to join him on the love seat. Alice walked over to the ottoman near the sofa and gracefully sat down, while I took my place next to Edward. I didn't feel comfortable sitting next to Edward as my dream kept replaying in the back of my mind, but I couldn't tell him that, he would be heartbroken; and it wasn't fair to him considering it was just a dream.

As soon as I sat down he pulled me into a tight hug and gave me a kiss that he wouldn't have dared to only a couple days ago. The kiss lasted a few minutes before Carlisle let out a small cough to remind us of their presence. Edward pulled back and looked deep into my eyes; he wouldn't lose contact with me though and settled for putting his arm around my shoulders, holding me close to his body.

Esme couldn't seem to contain herself any longer, "Bella dear, how are you feeling?" she asked with a very concerned look on her face.

"I'm good," I answered with a large smile. I could feel everyone looking at me, trying to decide for themselves if I was telling the truth. I needed to change the subject; I didn't feel comfortable having a family discussion about my sex life.

"How was your hunt?" I asked still smiling, with the hope of diverting the conversation. As long as they knew that I was okay hopefully they will let everything else go. I noticed Jasper give a slight nod of his head as if to back up what I was saying. I had never been happier to know an empath; I would have to thank Jasper for his help later.

"It was fine. Are you hungry?" Esme asked.

I hadn't noticed until that moment, but I was starving. I didn't have a chance to respond to her questions though, because Edward decided to speak for me. "Of course she is, I'll help you make something for her to eat," he answered.

I couldn't believe my boyfriend at this moment. We hadn't even spoken words to each other yet today and he was already speaking for me. How could he know if I was hungry? I knew before that he was a little controlling and it had gotten on my nerves, but this was a whole new level to his behaviors. Surely I was the only one who could speak for how my body felt. I had half a mind to say that I wasn't hungry at all and go home to enjoy a pop tart, but then I remembered how good Esme's breakfasts were and I couldn't pass it up.

I nodded in agreement and Esme stood up to make her way to the kitchen; Edward, Alice and I followed in her wake. Edward held on tight to me, never letting go for a second until he pulled out the kitchen chair for me to sit. Edward offered to help, but Esme shooed him away. When he returned to the table Edward scooted his chair next to mine and continued to hold me close to his body; it was starting to make me feel a little uncomfortable.

"How did you sleep my love?" Edward whispered into my ear.

I looked up at his beautiful face and lied, "great!"

Edward chuckled softly at my enthusiastic response and stated, "We need to talk after you eat. I would rather be away from the other's ears for our conversation; can we talk at your house?"

"Sure, no problem," I shrugged. "Charlie went fishing for the day, so we'll have the house to ourselves."

A large grin crossed Edward's face and Alice chose that moment to speak up. "Bella would you like to go shopping this Friday after school? It's a half day so we would have enough time to go up to Seattle."

"Sorry Alice, I have plans with Angela on Friday. Maybe another time, I don't really need to go shopping for anything anyway," I explained hoping to deter her temporarily from another day of torture.

Alice looked baffled for a moment, "Weird I didn't see that you had plans," she said more to herself than me.

"When were you going to tell me that you had plans Bella?" Edward demanded. Was this guy serious? I didn't need his permission to hang out with my friends!

"I didn't think that it was a big deal. We're just going to Port Angeles to hang out after school," I pointed out.

"_Not a big deal?_" Edward asked incredulously. "Of course it's a big deal Bella! The last time you went to Port Angeles with your girlfriends you were attacked. Did you really think that I would just let you go?"

"Edward please calm down!" Esme chastised while she placed my breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast in front of me. I greedily dug in as Esme continued. "I've raised you better than that. Bella is a woman and is capable for making her own choices. She also has the right to do whatever she wishes with her friends; _without asking you for permission_."

"I'm only looking out for her safety. She could be attacked again; we all know that she's a danger magnet. She needs me to keep her safe," Edward argued. I really resented that he felt this way about me and was determined to stand up for myself.

Alice beat me to it, suddenly rejoining the conversation, "Edward you are being an ass!" she yelled as she slapped both of her hands flat on the table and pushed herself up to stand over him. The sudden noise made me jump. I looked at Alice's hand and they were trembling with her anger. I also noticed that she no longer had on her wedding ring. I had never seen her without it and wondered idly where it could be.

"Alice please watch your language," Esme scolded her in a very surprised tone. Alice didn't seem to have heard Esme, or maybe she was choosing to ignore her as she continued.

"If Bella wants to hang out with her friends then there's nothing you can fucking do about it dipshit," she argued, "You want her to have human experiences? Well, ass-hat, shopping and hanging out with friends are very human experience. You need to stop going back and forth about this! Either you want her to have human experiences, or you want her always be under your thumb where you can watch her every move!"

By the end of Alice's tirade Jasper had joined us in the kitchen sending out waves of calm. When Edward noticed him standing in the doorway he held me even tighter, making it difficult to finish my food. I felt the effects of the manufactured emotions settle over the room and watched as Alice visibly calmed down and shot Edward one last dirty look.

I quickly finished my breakfast and Esme immediately grabbed my plate as soon as it was empty. As she began to clean up from my breakfast mess Edward grabbed my hand and began to pull me from the room.

"Thanks for breakfast Esme. It was great," I called back to her on my way out of the kitchen. Alice and Jasper followed us to the living room.

After settling back into our previous seats Edward pulled me possessively into his lap before continuing the conversation. "You have to understand," Edward began, "that I'm only looking out for your best interest." I saw Alice roll her eyes while she let out a very unladylike snort. Jasper was sitting quietly on the opposite side of the room from Alice looking very amused; he didn't bother to add to the conversation.

"Edward, I can make my own choices and I really miss hanging out with Angela," I pleaded.

"Fine," he said in an angry huff, "I'll accompany you."

I didn't have a chance to argue my point because Alice jumped to my rescue again. "How is it supposed to be girl time when you're lurking around shit-for-brains? You're so unreasonable Edward!"

Edward took a long look at Alice then turned his gaze on me, "We can talk about this later," he said, "when we have some privacy."

"Whatever Edward," Alice shot back. "You can have your privacy, but she'll be going, without you." With her parting words my best friend left the room and made her way upstairs. Jasper took a final look at Edward and me sitting on the sofa and followed Alice upstairs.

"Are you ready to go home?" Edward asked hopefully. I simply nodded and rose from the sofa to find my backpack.

I said a quick, "goodbye," to the family although I couldn't see any of them and we made our way outside to Edward's Volvo. After holding the door open for me Edward reached into the car and buckled my seat belt. In seconds he was sitting in the driver's seat and turning the key in the ignition while his right hand rested on my thigh. I really didn't like the changes in Edward's behavior so far today. I thought that he was controlling before, but today he was on a whole new level of craziness. I didn't need someone to buckle me into a car as if I was an incompetent child. I didn't need someone to escort me to hang out with my friends. I definitely didn't need someone hanging all over me as Edward had been doing since I came downstairs this morning. Yes, we definitely had a lot to talk about and I was glad that Charlie would be gone all day so we could have some privacy.

We pulled up to my house and Edward proceeded to unbuckle my seat belt and open my door for me. I couldn't keep my eyes from rolling at his strange behavior. We walked into the house and got comfortable on the sofa in the living room. I tried to sit sideways on the couch so I could face him for our talk, but he pulled me into his side and draped his arm around me.

I didn't have a chance to say anything as he began. "Bella I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?" There were a lot of things that he could be sorry for, and I wanted to make sure that we were talking about the same things.

"Rosalie made it quite clear to me that I didn't handle last night very well. I have no excuse other than it was my first time being intimate with anyone and I had a hard time controlling myself."

"Edward it's fine, I'm not mad at all. I knew that it would be complicated being our first time, and you did well controlling your bloodlust." I made sure to keep my compliment short and direct; I didn't want to confuse the situation and make it sound like he did a great job making me orgasm, because he still had yet to give me one.

"I tried, but I could've done better. Next time I will take more care to not hurt you," he said while letting his crooked grin cross his face. I loved that grin, but he wouldn't be getting anymore sex from me for a long time. All the crooked grins in the world couldn't change my mind on that.

"I'm sure you will," I agreed. I didn't have the heart to tell him my thoughts on how long it would be before he would get to try again.

"You're too easy on me Bella. I love you."

"I love you too," I answered. "Was there anything else that you needed to talk about?" I had so much that I wanted to say, but I wasn't sure if now was the right time.

"Well I wanted to take you out for the rest of the day. I know you said that Charlie will be gone all day and I wanted to go to Port Angeles. We could go to the Barnes & Noble there and I had somewhere else I would like to stop at."

"Sounds good to me," I said smiling. Time out of the house might be good. "I just need a human moment before we leave.

Edward nodded and gave me a kiss on the cheek, "hurry back to me, my love."

Where does he come up with this shit? Has he always been so ridiculous or did it develop overnight? I was only going upstairs for Christ's sake! I walked upstairs to the bathroom. After running a brush through my hair I looked in the medicine cabinet for something that could relieve me of my slowly growing headache. I found some Advil and took two quickly.

When I got back downstairs Edward was waiting by the front door, ready to go. We got back in his car and he made show of his newest embarrassing habit of buckling me in. This was getting old very fast. Did he really think that I was suddenly incapable of the simplest of tasks? The ride to Port Angeles was quiet. I sat staring out the window watching the trees go by. Edward kept his eyes on the road and his hand rested on mine rubbing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. My headache was going away and my other body aches were disappearing as well.

When we arrived in front of the book store I was excited. I loved to spend a couple hours there on a quiet day looking at all of the books and curling up on one of the oversized chairs. I was in the mood to read some poetry today and they had a great selection.

Edward helped me out of the car and held me tight as we approached the storefront. The sudden decrease in my personal space was putting me in a bad mood. He held the door open for me and I was able to release his hold around my waist momentarily. The smell of the store was wonderful; new books mixed with an aroma of freshly brewed coffee from the Starbucks in the front corner of the store.

"What would you like to look at?" Edward asked as we made our way down the middle isle around the many displays.

"Poetry sounds good to me," I said with a smile. Edward took my hand and pulled me toward the poetry section. I began to search through the books and found one that caught my interest. It was a copy of a very old book titled, _The Idyls of Battle and Poems of the Rebellion. _I had read a couple poems from this book for History class back in Phoenix and really liked it.

Edward gave me a strangely confused look at my choice, but didn't say anything about it. I found an empty chair nearby and got comfortable. After making sure that I was comfortable, he explained, "I'll be back, there's something that I want to check out. Don't go anywhere."

"Okay, take your time. I'm good," I told him, only half paying attention.

I'm not sure how much time passed as I was engrossed in the collection of poetry from the Civil War era. Some of the poetry was so moving and it also included songs that were sung by the soldiers. The book was limited however to the views of the northern poets, so I looked for a book containing a more wide range of views. I found _The Columbia Book of Civil War Poetry: From Whitman to Walcott._ This book was amazing! It even included poems from women and African-Americans, which the other one had not.

I was deeply engrossed in this book when Edward returned carrying a small shopping bag. I looked up at him questioningly; I hadn't even known that he had left the store.

"Are you ready to head back home?" he asked me with a raised brow.

It was so comfortable here, I could stay until they forced me out at closing time; but I took a look outside and noticed the sun was very low in the sky and that meant that Charlie would be home soon. It would probably be best if I was home when he got there. Grudgingly I got up from the chair and made my way to return the books to their places on the shelf.

"Did you want to buy either of those?" Edward asked, indicating the books that I had been reading.

"No, maybe next time," I shrugged. "I'm ready to go."

Edward took my hand and led me outside into the cool evening air. It must've rained while I was inside because the ground was wet and there were small puddles everywhere. We made our way back to my house making idle chit chat about school the next day. It was peaceful and I didn't want to ruin that with mentioning his new annoying behavior and that he better stop before we got to school in the morning. I was hoping that a night at home with his family might remedy that situation without me having to say a word.

When we pulled up to my house I had been hoping that Charlie would be home so Edward would just drop me off and I could spend the remainder of my day in peace. No such luck, the driveway was empty. Edward followed me inside and I noticed that he had his shopping bag from earlier with him.

We took our places on the couch and Edward handed me the bag with a smile. I looked at it hesitantly. "Edward, why did you buy me something? I don't need anything," I tried to explain.

"Just open it love," he coaxed. "It's imperative that you have it."

I slowly looked inside the bag to reveal a box containing a new cell phone. My irritation with him doubled. "Edward I really don't need this," I exclaimed.

"If you plan on going anywhere without me you do. I couldn't survive if something happened to you," he whined. Yes whined! Edward seemed to be a whole new person to me today. Had he always been this annoying and clingy? How blind had I been?

"Edward I go places without you all the damn time. Why would I need a cell phone now?" I asked inquisitively.

"Watch your language Bella," Edward reprimanded. "You said that you plan on going to Port Angeles this weekend and Alice's visions show that there is no way around it. So I need a way to contact you to make sure that you stay safe," he explained in a matter of fact voice; like this would be okay. I couldn't believe him!

I was so angry with Edward. Never once had I wished to have Jasper around, but his ability would be very useful right now to help me calm down before I said something that I would regret. Since he wasn't here to help, I needed some time to myself to calm down and straighten out my thoughts. I shouldn't be mad at Edward, I should be able to talk to him about this; but I was afraid that if I opened my mouth on the subject now that I would say some things that I would regret later, besides I didn't want to hurt his precious ears with my harsh language. So for the time being I kept my mouth shut.

"We can talk about this later," I said shortly. "I have a headache and need to get dinner started for Charlie."

"I can help if you would like," he offered.

I shook my head, "No, I need some time to myself. Besides Charlie hasn't seen me all weekend and I'm sure he would like for us to spend some time together." In truth I was sure that Charlie would come home, eat dinner and watch TV while I cleaned the kitchen and spent the night in my room, but that wasn't important right now. What was important was getting Edward to go home and leave me in peace.

"Okay, I'll see you later tonight," Edward said with a self assured smile. "We can try again in your bed."

"No, I'm still really tired from last night, so I will probably go to bed early. I'll see you in the morning," I explained, hoping that it would work. He wasn't going to get any sex for a long time.

He leaned forward and placed his hand on my cheek. "Well if that's what you want. Until tomorrow…" he trailed off sadly. Edward then brushed my lips with his for a goodbye kiss. The kiss was sweet until he deepened it, plunging his cold tongue into my mouth. I kissed him back hoping that it would get him to leave.

Once I was able to pull away, I stood up and lead him to the door. After another quick kiss Edward said, "keep your phone on you, I'll call you later." Then he left.

I closed the door and turned around leaning my back against the cold wood while letting out a soft sigh of relief. Finally I could have some time to myself to think about all that has happened this weekend. I made quick business of making dinner and sometime in the middle of cooking I heard my truck pull into the driveway. I had forgotten about that detail and was thankful that someone still had their wits about them.

When Charlie came home he was pretty quiet. As we sat at the kitchen table eating dinner, he kept staring at me with a look of confusion on his face.

I couldn't take it anymore, "What's up Dad?"

Charlie looked uncomfortable to have been found out. "I take it Alice is feeling better?"

I had forgotten all about the lie that we told Charlie to get me away for the weekend. Normally I would've already said something about Alice's recovery, if only my mind hadn't been flooded with so many recent developments.

"Yeah, she was feeling better late yesterday," I mumbled. "Sorry I forgot to tell you."

"Did you two go shopping then?"

"No we stayed home. I talked her out of it since she had been sick," I lied. It seems that lying is getting a lot easier the more that I do it.

"So where is Edward? Didn't he come back today?" Charlie questioned. He was definitely in Police Chief Mode; he could tell that something was up. "I figured that he would be over for dinner since he was gone all weekend. I've never seen you two apart for so long. Trouble in paradise?" Charlie looked far too happy that my boyfriend wasn't present. I knew that he didn't care much for me dating, but I thought that he was starting to like Edward. I guess that I was wrong.

"Yeah he's back Dad," I said exasperatedly. "He came over to see me this afternoon when he got back, but it _is_ a school night."

"Humph," was the only response out of Charlie.

We finished dinner quietly and Charlie escaped to the living room to watch TV. After I cleaned the kitchen I decided to go upstairs to my bedroom. "Goodnight Dad!" I called over my shoulder as I made my way up the stairs.

"Goodnight Bells!" he shouted back.

Once inside my room, I gathered my things to take a shower and went into the bathroom. I set everything on the counter and took a long look at myself in the mirror. I didn't look any different than I had yesterday, but I felt almost like a completely different person. That wasn't a little girl staring back at me anymore; she had grown up recently and was now a woman seemingly overnight. It wasn't noticeable in my physical features; nothing had changed in my appearance. All of the changes were within.

I wasn't the only one who had changed; Edward had changed too. I definitely didn't like what he was becoming; he was clingy and demanding. He had always told me that he wanted me to have as many human experiences as possible, but now that I was trying to, he was determined to hold me back. He actually wanted me to have a cell phone to check in with him while I was out! What could he possibly be thinking?

Frustrated from my thoughts I took my shower and returned to my room. I could already feel that tomorrow was going to be a long day. I grabbed the cell phone that Edward gave me earlier to check if it needed to be charged. When I looked at the screen I noticed that I already had a text message from Edward.

'What are you doing,' I couldn't help but roll my eyes, I had already told him what I would be doing tonight.

I sent him a reply, 'Going to bed,' hoping that he would get the message and leave me alone until the morning.

Ten seconds later I already had a new message from him, 'I miss you.'

A little irritated I sent a quick reply so I could actually get some sleep, 'me too goodnight' I then tossed the stupid phone on my nightstand and rolled over. What have I gotten myself into?

**Author's Note:** Please review; it only takes a minute. I would love to know what you think!


	5. Energy

**Author's Note: **I'm deeply sorry that it has taken me so long to put out this chapter. In my defense life is a bitch! I had family drama, I was sick, I injured my toe and I had to rearrange my entire house to allow room for a new roommate. Add all of that to my regularly hectic life of a single mother who is a part time student and works and well… something had to give temporarily. So now I'm back and will be updating somewhat regularly again.

Big THANKS to everyone who has reviewed this story! Every review makes me smile. On my good days they make me jump up and down like a young school girl and on my bad days they make everything feel a whole lot better. So thank you for taking the time to let me know that you like my story. It really does mean so much to me.

Another big THANKS goes to my totally wonderful beta cullen818!! You're A-May-Za-Zing!! Thank you so much for looking over this even when you don't feel good. You Are The BEST!!!

The song that inspired me when writing this chapter is Energy by Keri Hilson.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight or the characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 5**

**Energy**

I sat up gasping for air; my body was covered in a cold sweat. Flashes of my dream were crashing through my mind at an alarming pace. I had the same dream last night as the night before; Edward was chasing me, ready to attack and drain me dry.

I tried with all of my slumbering effort to push the haunting visions away. I knew that Edward wasn't going to hurt me, but I couldn't figure out why my unconscious was forcing these visions into my mind. What did my unconscious know that I didn't?

I looked at the clock on my nightstand; it read 5:30am. Ugh! There was no point in going back to sleep now. Besides I needed another shower since I was drenched in sweat. I turned off the alarm to keep it from going off later and got out of bed with shaky muscles. The lethargic feeling of sleep was still dominant in my body so I held my hand against the wall to steady myself. I stole a quick glance out my window and saw that everything was drenched; it must have rained last night. _What a fucking surprise!_

Trudging slowly across my room I heard Charlie shuffling around in his own room getting ready for work. I gathered my toiletries and made my way to our shared bathroom. "Morning Dad," I called softly in the direction of his bedroom door, sleep still evident in my voice.

His door opened suddenly and Charlie was standing in the doorway wearing his police chief uniform. "You're up early Bells," he remarked, "Something going on this morning?"

"No, I just had a bad dream and decided to get a head start." He shrugged uncomfortably while closing his door behind him and went downstairs as I turned back to the bathroom to take my shower.

I took a quick shower since I had one last night before bed and got out carefully to dry off. As I was getting dressed I heard Charlie knock lightly on the door. "Hey Bells?"

"Yeah Dad?"

"I'm going to Billy's tonight after work to watch Monday Night Football. Do you want to come along? Jake will be there…"

I really wasn't in the mood for a late night out in La Push so I excused myself with an easy out. "No, I think that I'll make it an early night. I'm sure that I'll be pretty tired since I've gotten up so early. Maybe next time."

"Okay kiddo, next time it is." He sounded a bit disappointed in my not wanting to go, and I was sure that he would hold me to my words and force me to go with him next time. I hoped it wouldn't be too soon.

I heard his footsteps retreat down the stairs and I turned back to my morning routine. I tried to take my time in getting ready since I woke up so early this morning, but it didn't seem to take me any longer than normal to finish getting ready for the day.

I hoped that Edward was back to normal today; it had been a really long week. First he was distant, then he tried to leave me and now I couldn't seem to get him to give me any personal space when we were near each other. Not to mention the fact that he was beginning to get way too overprotective of me by trying to keep me from going shopping with Angela.

Now that he bought me a cell phone I was sure that he would stop freaking out about my trip to Port Angeles this Friday. I was positive that was what caused him to act so weird yesterday; the thought of me being in danger with him so far away. Today he'd probably be back to normal and everything would be great again. I loved him so much and couldn't seem to grasp why he had changed so suddenly and completely.

When I reentered my room the time on my alarm clock reminded me that I still had an hour before Edward would be here to drive me to school. My thoughts on that were neither here nor there since I wasn't sure which version of Edward would show up this morning. I looked around my room for something to occupy my time. There really wasn't anything that I needed to do; my homework was done and my room was clean. I set out to make my bed as slowly as I could to take up time.

"See you later. I'm heading out now," Charlie called from downstairs.

"See ya Dad. Have a good day!"

The front door closed loudly and I heard Charlie's cruiser come to life in the driveway as I finished making my bed. Well at least I would have some time for peace and quiet before I had to leave for school. I turned to go downstairs for some breakfast and felt someone grab me from behind.

I froze in place unable to think clearly in my panic. Edward began to chuckle softly in my ear. "I didn't mean to frighten you my love."

"You're early." I was happy to see Edward, but surprised that he would show up so early for school. He normally wasn't here at this hour unless he had stayed over the night before. I hoped that we could put the last week behind us and go back to normal.

He placed a chaste kiss on my forehead and whispered, "I missed you."

"I missed you too," I said with a half smile and half the feeling of his declaration. I just couldn't bring myself to muster up any more. I had a sick feeling in my stomach telling me that things were definitely _not_ back to normal.

The depth of my emotion – or lack thereof - seemed to get past him as he held me tighter and pulled me into a deep, passionate kiss. I returned the kiss somewhat reluctantly. These displays of affection between us didn't seem to hold as much fervor for me as they had before. I couldn't seem to be as infatuated with this new, clingy Edward.

I immediately chastised myself for my negative thoughts toward my loving boyfriend and our relationship. I should be more understanding and patient with his behaviors. I should still be the same Bella that I was before; passionate and hopelessly in love.

I stepped back from the kiss and his embrace as soon as it was polite and looked up into his eyes. He looked like a star struck groupie. The look didn't suit him at all. _Is that how I had always appeared when I looked at him? Oh God, I hoped not! _

He reached out, grabbed my hand and led me downstairs. "What would you like for breakfast? We have enough time for me to make anything you would like."

I wasn't really that hungry and was beginning to be a little disappointed in losing my hour of peace and quiet. I shrugged, "I'll just have a pop tart."

"_What?_ Bella those things aren't good for you. You need a more healthy start to your day."

"I always eat pop tarts, they're my favorite." _It never mattered what I ate for breakfast before. Why did I need to change it up now?_

"Not today. I'm going to make you some oatmeal and fresh fruit." _Gross. So was he going to be my meal planner now?_

"Edward, I'm perfectly capable of choosing my own breakfast, and I want pop tarts!" I huffed out like a small child. I couldn't help myself, I knew that this wasn't the way to get what I wanted, but I was so upset that he was making my decisions for me. I have chosen what I wanted to eat for breakfast since I was a little kid. Why would I need his help now, when he didn't even live off of the same sustenance?

"Stop being difficult; just sit down and let me take care of you."

After taking a moment to weigh my options I did what I was told. I could fight this until my face turned blue, but the reality was that Edward would win, as always. There really was no point in fighting it; at least not about something as trivial as breakfast.

I slumped into a chair at the table quietly feeling sorry for myself and my unhappy relationship with the man that I loved. _Why couldn't we go back to a week ago when we were happy and I was allowed to eat pop tarts?_ This needed to change and fast; I couldn't live my life doing what I'm told and not being able to make even the simplest of decisions. I loved Edward, but when did he become more of a father to me than Charlie?

I was brought out of my wicked thoughts when Edward placed a bowl of plain oatmeal in front of me. "Would you like some orange juice, my love?"

I gave a slight nod of my head as I took a small bite of the tasteless mush in front of me. He could have at least added something to make it taste good; even a vegetarian vampire should understand wanting to taste your food.

Edward sat in the chair next to me and set down my glass of juice on the table. He casually put his arm around my shoulders as I ate; I could tell that this was going to be a long day. I was already grumpy with him and we were obviously going to be attached at the hip all day.

As I ate the bland oatmeal I remembered the scene in _The Matrix_ when everyone was eating bowls of slop with disgusted looks on their faces. The problem was, unlike them, I didn't remember ever taking the red pill.

I forced down as much of the bland oatmeal as I could and got up to clean my bowl. He never let go of me while I stood and performed this menial task. He also didn't offer to help. When I was finished we walked into the living room still linked together and sat on the couch.

"I have something for you," he said as he pulled a small velvet box from his pants pocket.

I felt the heat rise in my cheeks from my anger, "My birthday is over! You know that I don't like gifts."

"This isn't a birthday present. I wanted you to have something to remind you of me when I can't be around." _When was he ever not around long enough for me to actually miss him? Bad Bella! He loves you! _I was suddenly very thankful that he couldn't read my mind, because my most recent inner dialogue would break his heart.

I gingerly took the box from his hands, dreading what I would find inside. I really wished that Edward didn't have the need to show me how he felt about me through his bank account. After a deep breath I slowly opened the box to find a beautiful, but far too over the top, silver locket.

It was in the shape of a heart and had a brilliant topaz gem that matched Edward's eyes in the center. An ornate design flowed from the stone towards the edge in elegant swoops. The chain that it hung from closed in the front in a toggle clasp. It was obviously very expensive and not something that I would choose for myself.

"Open it," he instructed with delight.

The hinge was at the top of the heart so I carefully pried the point open with my short nails. Inside the bottom portion was a picture of Edward smiling back at me. The picture was perfect; he really should consider doing some kind of modeling. The top half of the locket contained a picture of Edward and me together. I vaguely remember Alice taking this picture at my birthday party. The contrasts in our beauty were clear in this picture. I looked blotchy and very subpar next to my Greek God with his perfect skin and perfectly messy hair.

Also prevalent in the picture was that I was head over heels in love with him. The love shown in the shine of my eyes and my posture as my head rested comfortably on his shoulder. He too looked happy and in love, but not nearly as devoted as he seemed to be now, this was bordering absurd. The extreme change from the man in the picture to the one hovering over me was not lost to my eyes. I missed _my_ Edward.

"Do you like it?"

I realized that I had been quiet while lost in my thoughts and hastily replied. "It's beautiful, but don't you think that it's a bit much?"

"Nothing is too much for you. I want to give you the world."

"Really Edward I don't need the world. I'm a simple person; I don't need _things_ to make me happy."

"Nonsense," he replied smoothly as he took the necklace from the box and began to place it around my neck. Once the toggle was secure I began to feel a choking sensation as if the chain was cutting off my air supply from where it hung loosely on my collar bone. My breathing picked up and I fought hard to steady it so Edward wouldn't know how I was really feeling.

"It looks perfect. Now you'll always have me with you." _Great, and here I was trying to think of ways to get some time away from him. Now I'll always have a reminder of his smothering behavior around my neck. Perfect. Just fucking perfect._

"Thank you," I blurted out, realizing that I still hadn't thanked him for his gift. I couldn't help that it came out a little chastising, but he didn't seem to notice.

"I'm sure that you can find another way to thank me later," he said with a cocky grin. "But right now we better get moving if we want to get to school on time."

Thankful to get out of the situation so easily I jumped up and gathered my things for school. I didn't even want to think of the ways that he wanted me to thank him, because they would probably make me nauseous. I had no intention of sleeping with him again, just the thought of it made my stomach do summersaults. It had probably been one of the worst experiences of my life, and that was saying something coming from the girl who has been attacked by vampires and was a visit away from having her own permanent bed reservation at the local hospital.

We jogged - at my slow human pace - out to the car where Edward again insisted on buckling me in as if I was a child. I suddenly couldn't wait for second period History to get some space between us. I usually hated that class because Edward wasn't there, but today it would be a great reprieve from what's going on between us. He got in the driver's seat and didn't waste a second before he latched onto my hand.

The drive to school was short, as always, and too soon I was in front of my few human friends with my vampire boyfriend hanging all over me. Edward had his arm draped over my shoulder in a very possessive way with his other hand holding mine. Between him hanging all over me and the token of his love hanging on my neck I was sure to suffocate before the day was over. Angela gave me an encouraging smile when she saw the look of panic on my face; thankfully no one else seemed to notice.

We went straight to Calculus and took our regular seats at the table that we shared in the back of the room. "I love you," Edward whispered in my ear. I was already annoyed with him and just wanted to hide in the corner. I didn't like the fact that my boyfriend would barely give me enough room to breathe; even his words seemed to smother me.

"I love you too," I got out right before class started. I paid extra attention to the instructor although I already understood the concept of finding derivatives; I was just happy to have a distraction. _Thank God for Calculus._

When class was over Edward walked me to my much anticipated History class that I thankfully had without him. He lingered at the door holding my hand and told me that he would miss me. _Really? It was only for an hour!_ I couldn't bring myself to match his sentiment, but he didn't seem to notice.

In fact, he hadn't noticed any of my standoffish behavior today. _Was he even paying attention to me at all? _He was obviously aware of my presence – since he couldn't seem to keep his hands off of me - but normally Edward would have noticed how little my emotions were behind my sentiments. He used to notice everything about me, especially how I was feeling; whether I wanted him to or not. Today he wasn't noticing anything; he seemed to have a one track mind and it was set on clinging to me as much as possible.

The hour that I spent in History was pure bliss; it was by far the most peaceful hour of my morning. I had room to breathe in fresh air and nobody invaded my personal space. I didn't bother to pay attention to the lecture; instead I let my thoughts wander freely. I didn't have Edward hovering over me or trying to change me. For the first time in days I was free to just be Bella.

My false sense of freedom didn't last long as the bell rang far too soon. I dragged myself out of the classroom knowing that I would soon have my shadow clinging to me. As soon as I stepped through the classroom doorway I was caged in Edward's cold embrace.

"That was the longest hour of my existence," he whispered longingly in my ear. _Was this guy serious? I don't seem to know him at all anymore. _I was already looking forward to PE this afternoon - my only other class away from Edward – for some more time to myself.

I smiled sweetly in response because, again, I couldn't seem to bring myself to agree with his sentiments, and again, he didn't seem to notice.

We walked to class stopping by my locker where I noticed that I suddenly had double the amount of books than when I left last Friday. Before I had words to express my astonishment, Edward exclaimed, "Isn't this great!? Now we won't have to make two stops between classes to grab our books!"

I discretely pinched my arm as hard as I could to make sure that this wasn't a new nightmare of mine. It wasn't. _How did I get myself into this mess? When did I sign up for this? Where was_ my _Edward and what did this imposter do to him? _My mind was twisting and swaying in the hurricane force of my thoughts.

"Sure… great?" it came out more like a question, but that was the best that I could muster under the circumstances.

He flashed me that beautifully crooked smile that I love so much and I melted. Feeling a little dazzled, I grabbed my Spanish book and we headed off to class.

The rest of the morning passed by with Edward and I attached at the hip. The suffocating feeling was back and by lunch I was seriously considering playing sick and going home. The only reason I didn't was because I was sure that Edward would insist on coming with me, therefore defeating my purpose. Besides, with the house to ourselves, he would most likely want to have sex again. I thought that I would rather be stuck in this hell than that one.

When we arrived in the lunchroom Edward grabbed a tray and proceeded to fill it with enough food for a small army. "Considering a change in diet?" I teased. _Surely all that food wasn't to keep up appearances_…

"No, but I am trying to help you make healthier choices in your own diet." I took a second to look at the food piled on the tray and noticed that there wasn't one fried thing on it. I turned toward the hot plate where all of the other students were grabbing pizza, cheeseburgers, chicken nuggets, burritos and French fries. _What I wouldn't give for a cheeseburger and fries!_ Before I started drooling at the thought, Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me swiftly away to pay for my nutritious lunch.

We sat at our regular table and Edward scooted his chair as close to me as it would get. He then placed my unwanted lunch in front of us. I had a plain turkey sandwich, salad loaded with carrots, tomatoes and Italian dressing and an array of fruit; apples, oranges, bananas and grapes. Nothing looked appetizing at all. I was still angry for missing my pop tart this morning and now I'm being deprived of my daily dose of grease! _If this keeps up I'm going to end up resulting to binge eating!_

I had a surge of hope when I realized that he'd forgotten to include something to drink. _Maybe I could sneak a soda into this meal._ "I'm going to grab a drink. Be right back," I said a little too enthusiastically as I got up from the table.

He reached out and grabbed my arm before I was out of my seat. "I already got you a bottle of water."

I looked down at the offensive bottle and wanted to cry. I used to like how Edward paid attention to every detail, now it was just plain annoying. I turned back to my nutritious meal, grabbed the first thing I saw – which happened to be the sandwich - and ate it quietly. I couldn't talk, because I was sure that if I tried I would make quite the scene yelling at Edward in the middle of the lunchroom.

Nobody came to my rescue and I was stuck alone with Edward for the duration of lunch. His arm never left my shoulders and my eyes never left the offensive food in front of me. He talked - I'm not sure what about – and I nodded along as if I were paying attention.

When I finally chanced a look at the clock I saw that we only had ten more minutes of lunch. I was so happy to be getting closer to PE, where I would have more time away from him. I didn't care if I came out of it with a serious injury, that hour apart would be worth it.

"I need a human moment. I'll meet you in Chemistry."

"I'll walk you," he answered as if I needed an escort to the bathroom. He was already standing from the table and I knew that it was pointless to argue so I went along and let him walk me to the bathroom. I was determined to get along with Edward and not cause a scene, but I was getting very exhausted by his new behavior.

I spent as much time in the bathroom as possible standing in front of the mirror, inspecting the light circles under my eyes. I didn't know if I was hoping that he would get bored and go to class without me or if I was holding on to every second without him. My reflection showed how exhausted I was between my lack of sleep last night and Edward's behavior today. It would be a miracle if I didn't pass out before the day was over.

The bathroom was already empty, everyone had left to get to class on time and I figured that I better leave before Edward came in looking for me. My feet dragged as I willed myself to leave the bathroom and finish my school day. As soon as I left the bathroom I was immediately incased in Edward's arms.

"What took you so long? Class is about to start."

Instead of giving an explanation I simply said, "Sorry."

We moved quickly and made it to Chemistry, just in the nick of time. We took our seats as the bell rang and Edward's arm remained around me for the duration of class.

I was so upset with the way Edward was acting. I couldn't seem to pay attention during class; instead I went to a happy place in my mind. I was trying to find peace in the midst of my swarming emotions.

I thought about our meadow. Soon visions of Edward from my most recent dream invaded my mind and that was even worse than the Edward hanging all over me right now. I quickly changed my daydream venue to my bedroom. I felt safe there and comfortable; this was my space. The cold embrace I was currently in reminded me of all those nights that Edward stayed and held me while I slept. _I couldn't even have time to myself in my own head!_ I quickly realized that no matter where my mind traveled, Edward would follow. I couldn't think of anywhere safe that I could be alone.

I just needed to get away from him for a few minutes; I desperately needed to center myself and I couldn't do that if he was everywhere that I turned. It's not that I didn't love him, because I truly did with all of my heart, the problem was that I was losing myself in him. I was ceasing to be Bella and was instead becoming Edward's Bella.

Class was over quickly and so was the one after that. I soon found myself at the door to the girl's locker room in the gym; my only other class without Edward. I had been looking forward to this since second period and was determined to not let the physical activity get me down. The time away from Edward would be worth it, even if I was at a high risk for injury.

I quickly got changed and was happy to leave my new locket in my gym locker. As soon as it was removed from my neck I seemed to be able to breathe a little easier. No Edward and no reminders of him hanging around my neck, I let myself get lost in my false sense of freedom as I walked out of the locker room.

When I entered the gym Coach Clapp was explaining what we would be doing today; playing kickball. _Oh great! I was already bad at walking now I would also be kicking a ball and running._ I tried to look at the bright side – at least I didn't have my shadow clinging to me - but the bright side was suddenly looking much dimmer. That shadow wouldn't let me fall in the mud and injure myself, and without him I was sure to do just that.

We went outside to play in the mud. I guess for the people who grew up here the soggy ground and puddles weren't reason to stay indoors; I on the other hand contemplated going back into the locker room and hiding until class was over.

Coach Clapp quickly split the class up into two teams. My team was up to field first so I went as far out into the field as I could, hoping that nobody could kick the ball all the way out here. Our team was pretty large and I was sure that if a ball came my way that someone else with more skill could easily catch it. I tried to look like I was participating so my grade wouldn't be affected, but I really couldn't care less about the game. I was free and in the open air, surrounded by my own personal space. It was euphoric!

It was soon my team's turn to kick and we lined up along the dugout. I, of course, worked my way to the very end of the line in hopes that we would get three outs before it was my turn to kick.

The bad news was that I turned out to be on the better of the two teams. My teammates continued to circle the bases without even a single out. Once I found myself third in line I tried to sneak toward the end of where people were lining up for their second turn.

"Swan!" Coach Clapp hollered across the field. "You're up!" _Hasn't he realized from my past experiences that this is a bad idea?_

Keeping my eyes firmly on the slippery path of doom to home plate I slowly made my way to take my turn. I wasn't sure exactly where to stand so I stood straight on the wet base.

Once I stopped and surveyed the field I noticed that everyone on the other team had moved in closer to taunt me about my obvious lack of athletic ability. Conner rolled the ball to me as hard as he did my other teammates and I jumped out of the way. _I had a really bad feeling about this_.

"You need to try to kick the ball Swan," Coach Clapp instructed. I was getting frustrated. I knew that I needed to kick the ball, but Conner rolled it to me as if we were in a championship game instead of a high school gym class.

I didn't say anything as I silently wished that Edward was here. He would protect me from the evil that is kickball.

I steadied myself with a deep breath and nodded that I was ready. Conner rolled the ball in my direction again and it was coming just as fast as the first time.

I quickly made the decision to put forth all of my effort; possibility of injury be damned. Most of the fielding team wasn't paying any attention; I'm sure it was because everyone knew that I lacked the physical ability to be much of a threat.

My frustration with my current situation and classmates made my pulse race with adrenaline. The ball was almost to me and I was determined to kick it. With my new confidence I brought my foot back and used every fiber of strength that I possessed to kick the stupid, red ball.

The problem was that my foot only caught air in its quest for the ball. I had misjudged the distance between the ball and my foot, causing it to roll by as my foot continued to kick upward without a solid object to disrupt its path. My balance was already questionable when on two feet, so now that I was trying to balance on one there was no hope of me remaining upright.

The foot that was still planted on the wet base slipped out from under me and I fell hard on my backside in the mud. There was a moment of silence before most of the class burst into laughter. Coach Clapp ran across the field to help me as I squirmed to my feet, but Mike beat him there.

"Are you okay Bella?" Mike sounded so worried. He really did care about me; I just wish that it was in a different way.

I felt the heat of a blush on my cheeks as I looked at him. "Yeah, fine." I just wanted to escape to my house with minimal contact with anyone else. I was sure that word of this would be spread throughout the entire school by tomorrow morning. I hope Edward hadn't seen that second hand through someone else's mind. Although if he hasn't already then I'm positive he would before school was over in about twenty minutes.

Coach Clapp finally reached us and gave me a once over assessing my muddy body for injuries. "Do you need to see the nurse?" he asked wearily. I shook my head no and he let out a small breath. "Go ahead to get changed and wash up. We'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks," I mumbled as I turned to begin the dangerous trek back to the girls' locker room.

"Oh, and Swan…?" I turned back quickly, hoping that he hadn't changed his mind in letting me leave class early. "Good effort," he exclaimed with a smile. I returned his smile and quickly made my way off the field never taking my eyes off my direct path.

It took me the whole twenty minutes to clean up all of the mud splashed up and covered most of my exposed skin and hair. I left the locker room with the rest of my female classmates who still found it hilarious that I fell in the mud.

As soon as I walked out of the gym I was engulfed in Edward's arms. "I was so worried! I was about to come in there looking for you. Are you hurt?" he exclaimed so fast that I was barely able to keep up.

"I'm fine," I assured him. "I just need a hot shower and I'll be back to normal."

Edward kissed my forehead and led me to his car in the student parking lot. He, of course, buckled me in again before getting in the car himself. We went straight to my house where Edward lounged in the living room while I threw my gym clothes in the washing machine and took a long, hot shower.

I felt so much better once I was clean and in a fresh set of clothes. My day had been so emotionally exhausting that I was ready for a nap before doing anything else. When I entered my room I noticed that Edward had migrated to wait for me on my bed while I was in the bathroom. He stood up and crossed the room in a flash. "Feeling better?" he asked as his arms snaked around my waist.

"Yeah much better," I affirmed.

"Get your shoes so we can go to my house. My family would love for us to come over and spend some time with them this afternoon. They really did miss you while they were away."

I noticed that he wasn't asking me if I wanted to go, but was telling me that we were going – I wasn't being given an option. Normally this wouldn't bother me because I did really want to see his family, especially Alice, but being around this new Edward was tiring and I wasn't sure if I had enough strength to deal with him much longer. I didn't have any plans for the rest of the day and Charlie wouldn't be here so I had no excuses. It did bother me though because he was assuming that I would come without asking me if I had any plans on how to spend my time.

Instead of saying anything I went downstairs and put on my shoes and jacket. I had a feeling that if I spoke my feelings at this moment that it would lead to a fight and I was too tired to fight with Edward. Besides he always won anyway.

Edward grabbed my back pack and walked me out to the car. "We can do our homework while we're there," he said, answering my questioning look at my bag.

When we arrived at the house Alice was already waiting for us on the front porch. She came running as Edward pulled in front of the house. "It's about time!" she chastised. "I've been waiting for almost an hour. Try not to fall in the mud next time," she finished with a laugh.

I felt the blush creep into my cheeks when I realized that she must have had a vision of me falling in the mud. "Next time a warning would be nice," I shot back. I can't believe that she saw it and didn't warn me.

"I only saw right before it happened! I had no way of warning you," she tried to explain. She did look a little sad about that, I felt bad for jumping to conclusions.

I gave her a tight hug and assured her, "It's okay; it isn't your fault that I'm so unbalanced."

She shot me a bright smile and turned to Edward who had come around the car to stand next to me with his hand on my lower back. "The guys are going on a little hunt nearby and were waiting for you to get back. They wanted you to go with them. Bella can stay here with me and we can have some girl time."

Edward looked torn. He obviously needed to hunt, but he didn't want to be away from me. I on the other hand thought that it was a great idea. I wanted some time away from him and to hang out with Alice. I gave him a slight nod and a reassuring smile.

Alice skipped back into the house since she probably already knew his answer. Edward turned to face me placing his hands on my cheeks and gave me a deep kiss. He pulled away just enough to speak clearly and look into my eyes. "I'll try to be quick. I will miss you."

"Don't worry about it. I'll spend some time with Alice and we'll be here when you get back. Have fun." He gave me another deep kiss as Jasper and Emmett walked out the front door of the house and joined us on the front lawn.

Alice came skipping out right after them and grabbed my hand. "Come on Bella, I want you to see my new room!" she exclaimed. _New room…?_ I suddenly remembered that she hadn't been wearing her wedding ring Sunday morning and chanced a glance at our joined hands. Nope, still no ring.

"Stay inside and try to be careful," Edward instructed as he gave me a final kiss goodbye on my forehead. I was annoyed that he was treating me like a child and couldn't decide if I was more annoyed with Edward or curious about Alice and Jasper. I tried to push my annoyance aside so I could try to talk to Alice, and I was excited to see her new bedroom.

Alice glared at Edward and I assumed that she was talking to him silently. He gave a slight nod and she rolled her eyes. I wasn't sure what it was about, but I hoped it had something to do with the way that Edward was treating me. She must have seen how he has been all day, and she would notice how much I didn't appreciate it. At this point I didn't care enough to ask; I just wanted Edward to leave so I could have some room to breathe and some girl time with Alice.

"Edward let's go!" Emmett boomed loudly. Jasper was standing next to him looking just as impatient. I hoped that I wasn't making them uncomfortable. Edward reluctantly turned to join them and left quickly. I noticed that Jasper hadn't kissed or even said goodbye to Alice. _I wonder what that was about?_

As soon as guys left Alice dragged me into the house barely allowing me to keep my balance. We went all the way up to the third floor landing before she finally let go of my hand. She faced me towards a door halfway down the hall between the stairs and Edward's bedroom. I had passed this door too many times to count, but never had the inkling to look inside, so I had no idea what I would find.

"I just finished the last touches while you were at school today, so it still smells like fresh paint," she warned. I gave her an excited smile and a nod in anticipation of what I would find. With a sweeping gesture she pushed the door open to reveal her new room.

I was amazed at the difference between her old and new rooms. This room was definitely all girl. The color scheme was all bright pinks and blues with white accents and furniture. The walls were hot pink and had large fashion designer symbols painted on them in white; some of them I actually recognized, but most of them I didn't. There was a large, white dresser against the left wall between two doors – I'm guessing the bathroom and closet – and a large vanity on the wall to the left of the entryway to the room.

The vanity had a huge mirror cut in an arch on the top that was surrounded by lights and a countertop that was a beautiful white marble and covered with makeup and hair care products. There was a plush pink upholstered stool in front of it. I was a little scared that she would want to start playing Bella Barbie with all of her new stuff while the guys were out.

An entertainment area was set up to the right of the entryway of the room. It had a flat screen TV hanging from the wall with a white cubical organizer under it that wrapped around the corner and continued on the adjoining wall. It was filled with DVD's, CD's, candles and other decorative objects. She had it set up so that some parts were taller than others and at the end on the right wall was a white desk with her laptop sitting on it. On the floor in front of the TV were large pillows and beanbag chairs all in white and shades of pink and blue. I wanted to run and jump into one, but I knew that Alice would want to show me everything before I could.

At the far end of the room were large windows that were in a half circle and taking up the space in front of it was a large round bed covered in pink and blue pillows. The nightstands were white with blue and pink knobs which matched the dresser and desk. The entire room had Chinese lanterns in white, pink and blue hanging at different lengths giving off a warm glow.

Her room was very comfortable and welcoming; I could spend days in here without ever wanting to leave. Alice had definitely designed this room all on her own without any thought of sharing it with a guy. There was no way that Jasper would be caught dead in this room, so I was absolutely positive that something must have happened between them.

Before I could say anything she grabbed my wrist again and dragged me to the large, white door to the left of the dresser. As I had guessed this was her bathroom. The color scheme from her room continued in here with bright blue rugs and a pink shower curtain with white flowers on it. The towels that hung near the shower and counter were a mixed set of pink and blue with her initials A.C. stitched into them in an elegant white scrawl. The walls were white and the floor consisted of large white tiles.

There was a large bathtub that I could probably attempt to swim laps in at the far end of the enormous bathroom. Around the tub was a ledge covered in different sized candles and a large jar of bath salts. On the right wall was a large glass door that opened to a shower that the entire Cullen family could probably fit into comfortably and a linen closet. On the left wall was a toilet and a long white marble counter with two sinks set on large white cabinets and a large mirror hanging above.

"This is amazing," I gasped as I took in the room. I was positive that I would never be able to look at my small bathroom at home the same again.

"You haven't seen the best part!" she exclaimed as she dragged me out of the bathroom. "I've been saving the best for last."

We quickly rounded the large dresser and entered the only other door left, the closet. To call this a closet seemed to be some form of criminal act. It was huge! Every wall was covered with shelves, drawers and clothing racks. In the center of the room stood a large countertop that matched both her vanity and bathroom counters covered with hanging racks for purses, and underneath held more shelves and drawers. I have no idea how she was able to do it, but everything was filled. Clothes were everywhere in every color and designer that I could imagine. I was sure that I would never have this many clothes in all of my life.

"Wow," I uttered in pure amazement. I couldn't seem to find the appropriate words for what I was witnessing.

"I know! Isn't it great?" Alice beamed. "Come back here, there's more."

Still unable to find my words I followed her to the back of the closet. Unnoticed by me before, there was another large section that jutted out from the back left that was still more than twice the size of a normal walk in closet. This section must wrap around the back of the bathroom. It was filled with row upon row from ceiling to floor of shoes, every color and design imaginable.

I didn't know what to say, this was so Alice. I was suddenly thankful that we wore the same shoe size. If I ever needed shoes for anything I definitely knew where to look. "Wow," was again the only word that I could seem to manage.

"I was so excited that I had to go shopping to fill it up," she said while bouncing up and down. I was instantly thankful that I didn't get dragged along on that mission. I didn't think that I would have survived it.

"Can we go sit down?" I asked hoping that she didn't have any more secret compartments to her already sinfully huge closet.

"Yeah, we can test out the beanbag chairs!" She was so excited and it was starting to affect me and bring me out of my Edward induced sleepiness.

We went back into her room and got comfortable in the oversized beanbag chairs. It was so relaxing.

"So is everything back to normal with Edward?" she asked, although I'm sure she already knew the answer. He hadn't stayed the night last night and I'm sure that she noticed my stress level when we got here. But I didn't want to talk about Edward and me; I wanted to talk about her and Jasper.

"Everything is fine," I answered brushing off her question. "I would much rather talk about you and Jasper."

"Are you sure everything's okay? You seem really stressed out."

"Thanks, but like I said, Everything. Is. Fine. Stop trying to avoid the subject."

"What about Jasper and me?" she asked hesitantly.

"What's going on with you two? Why aren't you wearing your wedding ring? And why do you have a new room that you're definitely _not_ sharing with him?"

Her eyes glossed over briefly. I knew that she was looking into the future and was upset that she was ignoring my questions. Why wouldn't she just tell me instead of looking to find ways of avoiding having to answer me? _When her gift wasn't saving my life it could be really fucking annoying._

"Oh don't get yourself all into a tizzy. I was just making sure that we wouldn't be interrupted," she chastised. My eyebrows shot up in a silent question. "We're safe."

I sat up a little straighter, ready to find out once and for all what the hell was going on with my best friend.

**Author's Note:** Please leave me a review and tell me what you thought of this chapter. Why do you think that Alice and Jasper aren't together? Any theories? How long do you think Bella will last putting up with 'New Edward'?

Reviews are love people!

Now that you've read my update I would love it if you head over to an amazing Jasper/Bella story by Lilly Monroe titled Carousel. It's original story line and twisted games between Jasper and Bella will have you addicted!


	6. Drain You

**Author's Note: **No excuses from me regarding my lack of updating this time. It is what it is. Sorry.

I have the best beta EVER! Big thanks from me to you, cullen818!

I love reviews. Please remember this when reading!

The song that inspired me when writing this chapter is Drain You by Nirvana. If you've been living under a rock since the 90's please go check it out; it's one of my favorites from them.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight or the characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 6**

**Drain You**

"Well I guess that I'll have to start at the beginning," Alice said with a small sigh.

"That would be nice," I commented sarcastically. I was very anxious to find out what was going on, but my annoyance with Edward was still lingering in my mind. Thoughts of what was going on in my own life were so all over the place that I was having a hard time concentrating and I just wanted her to explain things to me without all the bullshit.

"Do you want to hear this or not? I could make you wait just like everybody else," she chastised.

"What do you mean? Nobody else knows what's going on?" I was astonished. Surely at least Edward would know, it's almost impossible for any of them to keep things from him.

"Nobody else knows anything that I'm about to tell you other than myself and Jasper," she explained. "We were planning on explaining everything at a family meeting tonight. That way we only have to explain it once and everybody gets to hear it."

"Aren't they curious about why you need your own room?" I was already confused, but I'm sure that Alice and Jasper needing separate rooms should raise some sort of red flag.

"Esme asked, but I told her that I wasn't ready to talk about it. Nobody else seems too worried about it; I think that they know we'll explain it all when we're ready. Or maybe they just think that we're fighting," she explained nonchalantly with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Well I'm ready, so let's hear it."

"As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted," she said with a smile, "I'll have to start at the beginning." She took a deep breath while collecting her thoughts; I had a feeling that this was going to be a long story.

* * *

I was still in shock as we all gathered in the dining room. I wasn't sure what to think or how to process what Alice had told me only moments before. I really needed a few more moments to myself so I could gather my thoughts, but that was impossible as Edward had already glued himself to my side with his arm held possessively around my shoulders.

I couldn't even use the excuse of needing a 'human moment' as I didn't need to use the restroom and he would hear that I didn't make the necessary sounds that that entailed. My thoughts were a jumbled mess and my emotions weren't any better, causing a huge clusterfuck to swirl around untamed in my mind.

I wanted to support Alice, but everything was so new and different than what I had believed all this time. I still couldn't quite understand why they hadn't told their family the truth. She hadn't had a chance to properly explain that point as the guys had made a last minute decision to come back to the house. She said that they had hurried back because Jasper was having difficulties keeping his thoughts away from this family meeting. I wasn't sure if I should be here, but Alice insisted that I was part of the family and that she needed me here for moral support.

Edward pulled out a chair, and I sat silently at the large dining room table, hoping that I would be of some use to Alice during their big reveal. I tried to take low calming breaths as quietly as possible so no one would know that inside I was feeling so confused. He then hastily pulled out the chair on my left, and brought it as close to mine as possible.

I hoped that this would be over soon so I could escape to my house and have some time to calm my thoughts properly. That seemed to be the only place that I could think anymore because Charlie gave me my space. With Edward always hanging on me and rarely ever leaving me alone, I was feeling so smothered that my mind was having difficulty functioning properly.

The rest of the family began to take their seats as well; Carlisle took his place on the other side of Edward, at the head of the table, with Esme on his left – across from Edward. Rosalie sat next to Esme – straight across from me – as they were discussing renovations for her and Emmett's room, and Emmett excitedly took his seat on Rosalie's left. Alice entered the room and hastily sat down in the seat at the opposite end of the table from Carlisle. I thought this was strange since the seat next to me was still vacant, and she had wanted me to be here to give her some moral support. I gave her a quizzical look which she returned with a smug smile. I would never understand the inner workings of my best friend's mind, but I knew that she had her reasons.

Jasper entered the room last and seemed a bit on edge. He scanned the room and realized that the only seat available was next to me. Edward seemed to notice this at the same instant and before I knew what happened, my seat had been moved down the table, away from the offending open seat, causing a crowding at the end with Carlisle, Edward and myself. My annoyance was displayed clearly on my face as I looked into the eyes of my clingy and overprotective boyfriend. _Did he really think that sitting next to Jasper would end my life? Well that's a stupid question, of course he did!_

Jasper dropped his head slightly in shame as he proceeded to take his seat at the table. Carlisle frowned his disapproval at Edward, and Alice shot him a death glare. I wrenched myself free from his prisoning embrace and placed my chair back in its original position. I couldn't care less about what he thought right now, that was just plain rude. He didn't seem to be sorry for his actions at all. _Didn't she see this coming? Even I knew that Edward wouldn't approve of Jasper being near me._ I was starting to think that Alice wasn't as observant as she had once been.

Edward stared at me for a moment with a bewildered look on his face, but I didn't back down. I sat up a little straighter and waited for him to come to his senses; I refused to budge on the matter of where my chair would be at the table. I was not going to let him use me as an excuse to hurt anyone in his family. Was this an immature argument to have? Yes. Did I care? No. He let out a loud sigh before he scooted his chair back to my side and wrapped his confining arms around me again. _I almost wished that he had stayed where he was, cramped next to Carlisle._

Carlisle stood up and the room fell silent, it was obvious in this moment that this family held him in the highest respect. "Alice has informed me that she and Jasper have something that they need to speak with all of us about. I'm sure that with all that has happened recently that we all have our suspicions as to what this is, but I would like to remind all of you to let them explain everything before you jump to conclusions and interrupt." He locked gazes with each of us one by one reiterating his point with a stern face.

I knew that I was the only person in the room other than Alice and Jasper who knew what was about to be said at this point, but if I hadn't known better I would have put my money on Carlisle knowing what was about to happen. He seemed a bit on edge and this feeling seemed to spread around the table instantly.

We all turned our gazes to Alice, expecting her to be the one to start talking. Instead she turned towards Jasper with an encouraging smile on her face and reached out to hold his hands which were clasped together tightly on the table.

He took a long deep breath before lifting his eyes to meet everyone's stares. He didn't try to work up to the point, or sugarcoat it to make it easier to take down; without further hesitation he blurted out, "Alice and I aren't married."

I did a quick survey of the stoic faces around the table and could see the shock flare in everyone's eyes. Rose definitely already had something to say, but was doing a good job of biting her tongue. Emmett put his arm around her pulling her closer instantly; he knew Rose well enough to know that she wouldn't stay silent for long. I turned to see Edward's reaction and was met with narrowed eyes of fury. _This couldn't end well._

After a few more seconds Jasper continued. "We never were actually. In fact, we haven't even been romantically involved this whole time that we've known you." He took another pause and when I looked at his face I saw fear for the first time there. His eyebrows were knit together causing his forehead to furrow and his lower lip was trembling slightly. This was definitely far from anyone's comfort zone, but I could only imagine the feelings that were bouncing around the room at this revelation, and poor Jasper was feeling every single one.

I had never been close to Jasper and I doubt that I ever would be, but I was starting to think that Alice sat where she did so I could be there for Jasper at this moment. He obviously needed some kind of support. I guess that I was her safest bet since I already knew what was going on.

I wasn't sure exactly how to comfort him though. I began by focusing on feelings of calm and support, but then realized that I wouldn't have had to sit next to him to help in that way. I looked to Alice for some indication of what to do. She looked at me expectantly, and then down at Jasper's free hand.

His hands were still on the table, his right was held tightly by Alice, but his left was laying palm down and all alone, his fingers were drumming quietly on the smooth table top. I slowly reached out and took hold of his hand. Edward instantly pulled me closer to him - as if there had been any distance between us before – but I refused to let go of Jasper's hand. As the left side of my body was being crushed into Edward's chest, Jasper looked up and gave me a slight smile. I suddenly felt warm feelings of gratitude flow through my very soul, and I smiled back to him in return.

With this encouragement Jasper went into the details of their story. "Before we found you all we did try to have a relationship, but it just didn't feel right. We were very close and loved each other tremendously, only it wasn't in a romantic way. I have never lied about the love that I feel for Allie, I would do anything for her." He paused to look at Alice and she nodded to him in reassurance.

"When we came here she saw that the only way that you all would accept us so easily would be for you to think that we were a mated and a married couple. We didn't want to lie to you, but she saw that if we told you the truth that you wouldn't accept us."

I chanced another glance around the table at this and saw five faces filled with disbelief, stoic faces gone. I wasn't sure if they didn't believe Jasper and Alice's reason for lying or if they were still having a hard time grasping the fact that the whole marriage had been a lie. Either way, I was worried that this would turn out bad very quickly.

Alice then spoke for the first time, "You have to admit that if you knew that Jasper wasn't my husband that you would have thrown him out of the family one of the numerous times that he slipped in our diet." She stared pointedly at each member of the family, daring them to contradict her.

When she reached Edward he opened his mouth as if to speak, but she cut him off before he could get a word out. "Save it Edward. I know that you fought with Carlisle to leave Jasper behind after his indiscretion in New York back in '82. Did you really think that I would have stayed if Carlisle had agreed with you? Married or not, I love Jasper, it's just not the way you believed it to be.

"I would have a horrible vision every time we decided to come clean. Sometimes we would leave the family and Jasper would go into a depression causing him to revert back to his former diet. Other times a huge argument would start and the family would split up completely. The worst of those visions is when a physical fight would break out and someone would always end up dead."

I couldn't believe that the family would get so upset about Jasper and Alice not being together. Sure they lied, but they only did it to keep the peace. I wonder what changed this time that they felt safe telling the family.

"So you see? We had to lie, no matter how much we hated doing it. It tore us up inside to lie to our family who took us in, our family that we love so much."

"This is one of the reasons that we felt forced to lie to you all of these years. The other is it felt so comfortable to be a married couple. I have never trusted anyone as I do Jasper; we have been and always will be very close. We have wanted to tell you the truth for so long, but it never seemed like the right time. So many years spent together has made us very comfortable with each other. It's comforting to know that someone loves you and will be there for you no matter what happens."

Jasper looked at Alice with a small smile. He seemed to come back to life after hearing what she just explained to the family. Now that I knew why they had kept this a secret for so long, I could feel nothing but understanding and compassion. Alice knew that she was destined to live with the Cullen's and that she would be happy here, but she also loved Jasper and wanted to help him. Although I didn't know anything specific about Jasper's past, I did know that it was an unhappy one and that he cherished his time with the Cullen's and Alice.

The room was quiet for a few moments as everyone sifted through this new information. The tension was growing thicker while I'm sure that everyone had something to say, nobody wanted to be the first to speak. I gave a little squeeze to Jasper's hand, hoping that it would remind him that I understood and would be on their side if need be.

In true Rosalie fashion, she was the first to speak, no longer able to hold in what she had to say. "Do you really think so little of us? You really believe that we would be so unaccepting of you?" Her questions were directed at Jasper, but it was Alice who answered them.

"I'm sorry Rosalie, you were the one exception. No matter how we came to this family you were the one who would have accepted us no matter what. You were also the only one other than Esme who never considered kicking Jasper out of the family when he had troubles following this diet."

I wished that I had a camera with me to take a picture of the astonishment on Rosalie's face at that moment. She quickly turned to Emmett, who immediately found the grains in the wood of the table interesting.

"I can't believe you!" she chastised him. "Of all of us, you actually wanted to leave Jasper behind? You have slipped up too!"

Emmett looked so sad when he looked up from the table and into Rosalie's eyes. I almost felt bad for witnessing him in this state; I don't remember ever seeing him anything other than overly happy. He quickly turned to Jasper, "I'm so sorry! It wasn't that I wanted you gone, it was just that… well I didn't want to leave Minnesota," he finished in shame.

"I was finally getting comfortable somewhere and when you drained that girl I was so… mad. I didn't want to leave, for a second I thought that if you just left then everything would be okay and we could stay." When he was finished with his explanation he bowed his head in shame and stared at the grain pattern on the table again.

Rosalie's look of shock still had not left her face. She was staring at her husband as if she no longer knew who he was. No one spoke until Rose was able to calm herself enough to look calmly back at the family.

Why Edward chose this moment to say something so fucking stupid was beyond me. "So does this mean that Jasper is finally leaving us in peace?"

Esme didn't hesitate in her rushed exclamation, "Jasper, please don't leave! You are my son and I would be heartbroken if you left our family." Carlisle placed his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to calm his wife. He looked between Jasper and Alice expectantly.

My mind started racing, trying to remember everything from our conversation earlier; did Alice mention either of them leaving? I realized at that moment that Alice had a new room and Jasper had taken over their old one. She wouldn't need a new room if he planned on leaving the house. I was pretty confident in my musing to know that Jasper wasn't going anywhere.

"No, I'm not leaving," he whispered so quietly that I barely heard him. _Did he forget that a human was in the room?_ I gave his hand a little squeeze in reminder of the human's not so skilled ears. He spoke up a little louder, "I just couldn't take the lies anymore."

Alice chimed in a little happier than anyone else. She must have known by now that everything was going to work out fine. "It's time for Jasper and I to open ourselves romantically to others. We can't pretend to be married for eternity; we would never find our true mates."

By this point she was bouncing in her seat and I couldn't help the small giggle that came out of my mouth. I think that it had more to do with the immense relief that I felt with Alice seeming to feel so optimistic about this situation then it had to do with her comical behavior.

Edward, however, was not amused. He quickly pulled me into him and wrapped his other arm around me while letting out a low growl. I couldn't understand what set him off in our conversation and figured that it must have been someone's thoughts. I looked around the table for an explanation, but found none.

Carlisle then spoke to the group, "I am sorry to both Alice and Jasper for feeling that they had to lie to us about something so trivial to be accepted into this family. I hope that in the future none of you will feel the need to lie about anything and will know that you will only find understanding and compassion from your family."

He gave Esme's shoulder a squeeze and she took the queue to speak. "I ask you both to please stay and continue to be a part of this family. I promise to try to always be an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on and a heart that will love you. I don't know what I would do without either of you. I consider all of you my children no matter your age. You both have a rather large piece of my heart and I couldn't picture this family without you."

Rosalie then took a deep breath and spoke her piece to the newly separated couple. "I love you both and have always accepted you, as proven in Alice's visions," she nodded at Alice. "I would only like to add that if you leave Jasper, I'm coming with you. I refuse to let my brother leave his family and face this world alone. I will always be there for you."

"I'm coming too," Emmett added at the end, but didn't offer anything else. His eyes were still stuck looking down at the table in shame.

The attention of the family was suddenly on me, having skipped both Alice and Jasper. I didn't know that I would have to say anything and hadn't even given a thought to what I would say if given a chance. I could feel the blood rush to my face in my sudden embarrassment and began to open my mouth to speak when I was abruptly cut off by Edward.

"I think that it's time that Jasper leaves to work on his control for a while on his own. He almost killed Bella and I don't feel comfortable with him anywhere near her now." His hold on me became tighter as he spoke and I was dangerously close to having my oxygen being cut off completely.

I was so angry with Edward using me as an excuse to kick Jasper out of his home! I wanted to hit him, but knew that it would only injure me, and he probably wouldn't even feel it. I sensed Jasper trying to reclaim his hand that I was holding, but I refused to let it go. I grasped it tighter and when he let his hand fall into his lap I didn't even flinch as I let mine nestle there too. I knew that he was only trying to respect Edward as my mate, but I wouldn't let him believe for a minute that I agreed with any word that just came out of Edward's mouth.

Sadly, he wasn't finished. "I never wanted Jasper to join us in the first place. Every time we had to pick up and move because he couldn't find any control has made me dislike him even more. I am so sick of having to babysit him because he can't keep his urges in check. I've wanted him to leave since the moment that he got-"

"That is quite enough, Edward," Carlisle interrupted in a quiet but firm voice. "I think that we all understand how you feel now. However, it was Bella's turn to speak."

Again I felt everyone staring at me expectantly. I wasn't sure what to say, but again I didn't need to say anything because Edward started speaking for me. "Bella agrees with me." _What the fuck!? When did he ever get that idea?_ "Jasper is dangerous and she's afraid of him. He needs to leave for her safety."

I was so angry that my thoughts and answers to what he just said began swimming through my head at a frantic pace. I wasn't sure exactly what to say to that. I was in no way afraid of Jasper, and I definitely didn't want him to leave because of me. This was his family and his home. If anything I would stay away so that he would be more comfortable.

And who did Edward think he was, speaking for me like that? I have never said anything remotely close to what he just expressed as my thoughts to his whole family. I was so angry with Edward for so many things that I didn't know where to begin.

"Jasper you're exactly what I am trying to protect Bella from. I need you to leave so she has a chance to live. You of all people know how much I love her and still you're here threatening that. Please just leave us in peace."

By the time that he was finished I was afraid that I was going to lose consciousness from the lack of oxygen. Edward had held me so close that I was having a difficult time breathing. It didn't help that I had to lean over his imprisoning arm to be able to reach Jasper, but I didn't say anything of my troubles out loud – I did however, curse Edward silently in my head.

_How could he be so heartless?_ It was obvious that Jasper wasn't going to hurt me! His brother needed support and all that Edward could find in himself to do was make him feel even worse. Edward was being cold hearted, and for the first time I saw him as the soulless vampire that he had always claimed to be.

I realized that the family was still waiting to hear what I had to say on the matter at hand, and it was alarmingly clear that I needed to speak up for myself since Edward had said some horrible things on my behalf. I still wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to say, and my mind was going a mile a minute, but I couldn't continue to sit there and say nothing.

I spoke about the actual matter at hand, but in my mind I was already planning my talk with Edward; I couldn't continue to turn my back on what was going on between us. "I don't see any reason for Jasper or Alice to leave. This is their home and I'm not afraid of-"

"But Bella," Edward exclaimed.

"Let her speak!" Rosalie shouted at Edward as she jumped up from her chair and slammed her fists into the table. "She can talk for herself!"

"Rose, please calm down, violence will get us nowhere," Esme said in a calming voice as she rubbed circles on Rosalie's back softly.

"Please continue Bella," Carlisle urged.

Rosalie sat back in her chair with a loud, "humph!" but didn't turn her glare from Edward. I'm sure that she wasn't finished with Edward either.

I took a deep breath, I had guessed that Edward would interrupt me again, but Rosalie's reaction was much unexpected, at least by me. "I was saying that I'm not afraid of Jasper, I never said that I was. I would hate for him to leave because of me, and if it's too difficult to be around me I can stop coming over so often or at all. I don't want anyone to leave their home or their family because of me." Jasper gave my hand a slight squeeze, but other than that he showed no acknowledgement of what I had just said.

"Alice? Jasper? Do either of you have anything to add?" Carlisle asked hopefully. They both shook their heads in a negative and he continued. "What are your plans then? As you can tell, we would love for you to stay and hope that you can trust us in the future."

"I'm staying, no worries," Alice said through a huge smile.

Jasper still wasn't speaking and by the looks of it he didn't plan to for a while. He held his head low looking into his lap where he held my hand in his left and Alice's in his right. I gave his hand another squeeze and tried to muster up all of the feelings of belonging, hope and courage that I could.

After another moment he looked up and found Carlisle still waiting for an answer. "I plan on stayin here… for now. I can't promise anything about the future, but for now, I'm stayin put."

Everyone seemed appeased with his answer and turned to Carlisle for anything further. He dismissed us and everyone began to get up and leave the room. Alice gave Jasper a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before she danced through the doorway and up the stairs. Esme and Rosalie also both gave him hugs before leaving with Carlisle and Emmett. I refused to get up while everyone left the room, because I still had a lot that needed to be said to Edward. I gave Jasper's hand one last squeeze before he let go and left the room leaving Edward and I alone.

He had finally unwrapped his arms from around me; they were lifeless at his sides with his hands resting gently in his lap. I felt so free. I felt as if I could even breathe easier. I stretched my arms slightly enjoying the space to move properly and then turned in my chair to face Edward head on.

When I turned to face him I realized just how pissed off he really was. His stoic face portrayed nothing, but his rigid posture and clenching jaw were dead giveaways. I wasn't sure if it was safe to say anything without him going off the deep end. I waited a few moments in silence, but with each second that passed I cared less and less about what his reaction would be; he needed to hear this.

"What the fuck, Edward!" I shouted much louder than the silence called for. I knew no matter how loud or quiet I was that the rest of the family would hear this conversation, so it really didn't matter what volume my voice was. "How could you be so damn heartless?"

"Isabella do NOT use that language with me. You are a lady and need to act as such," he chastised. "I was well within my rights to speak my opinions. I was trying to keep you safe."

"Stop trying to use me as a reason to degrade others. I'm perfectly safe and I don't need you to always make my decisions for me. I am old enough to decide and speak for myself! I'm also old enough to use any language I choose."

"You're so ridiculous sometimes. You don't think anything of your safety. Do you forget that you are amongst seven vampires? I keep trying to keep you safe, but you are making that very difficult for me."

"I'm safe Edward. Jasper won't hurt me! And I won't allow you to use me as a reason to hurt him or anyone else."

"But he is unstable Bella. He could attack you at any time. Every second that you spend in his presence is a second too long. It is a second spent in the grip of death. I cannot always protect you, no matter how badly I wish I could."

"I don't need you to protect me from Jasper! I'm perfectly safe around him. What happened on my birthday was nothing-"

"That wasn't '_nothing_', Bella! You almost died! I can't keep putting you in those situations. I have to protect you; if anything ever happened to you I would die!"

"Nothing is going to happen to me! I am safe and I refuse to let you dictate everyone's lives based on what you think is safe for me! I don't want you using me as an excuse to treat other people the way you just treated Jasper!"

"It doesn't matter how I treated him, what matters is your life. Why can't you understand that?"

"Why can't you understand that everything isn't about you and what you want? I can make my own decisions and speak for myself."

"But you make horrible decisions! You're dating a bloodthirsty vampire; I would say that's a pretty bad decision."

"Maybe it is! But I refuse to let you make my decisions for me! I refuse to let you speak for me! It's about time that you realize that I'm a woman who has her own thoughts and is capable of running her own life!"

"Bella please calm down. I know that you think that you're capable, but you're really only a human child. I can't change my need to help you; I couldn't survive without you. All I want is your safety and I'm willing to do anything to ensure it. I would do anything for you. Why can't you see that?"

"I do see it, Edward, but you cage me in. Lately all I feel like is a prisoner… our relationship shouldn't make me feel like that. But I feel like a caged animal, I'm just trying to find my way out. I need room to make my own choices. I will deal with the consequences of my choices happily, but I need to make them myself. I can't let you dictate everything about my life, and that includes speaking for me. Don't EVER do that again!"

"I will make any decisions that I see fit. If I left it up to you, you wouldn't last a week."

"I'm done with this shit! I can't even look at you right now! You're absolutely ridiculous!"

"Don't walk away from me! Why can't you talk to me and attempt to see reason? Why do you have to be so difficult?"

"I am an adult Edward, not the child you claim that I am. A very pissed off adult who is ready to go home. I'll see you at school tomorrow." I walked out of the dining room and made a bee line for the front door. The last thing that I wanted was for Edward to follow me and try to continue this conversation.

Once I made it to the front yard I realized that Edward drove me here in his stupid Volvo. Even worse, it was raining again and the last place in the world that I wanted to be at that moment was in the car with Edward. My decision probably wasn't the best, but I didn't care because all I wanted was to get the hell out of here. A walk seemed like a good idea at the time.

I crossed the yard as quickly as I could without injury and started my trek down their winding driveway toward my freedom. Edward didn't follow me and I refused to look back at the house to find out if he was watching me. To be frank, I couldn't care less what he was doing.

When I was about halfway to the freedom of the highway at the end of the driveway I heard a car approaching behind me. I became anxious and my heart started racing a mile a minute. What should I do? Turn around and argue with the most annoying vampire that I've ever met? Or run into the woods and hope that he doesn't follow me? I wasn't sure what to do and I didn't have any more time to figure it out as the car came to a stop next to me.

Instead of the shiny silver of Dumbass's Volvo I saw Carlisle's sleek, black Mercedes. I breathed out a sigh of relief and turned to face the car fully. The passenger door opened and Alice jumped out.

"Bella, you must be crazy! It's pouring down rain and the walk to your house is a couple miles! Get in the car and we'll drive you home."

I was still slightly apprehensive since I didn't know who was driving. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer that it wasn't Edward or Rosalie willing to drive me home. When I leaned down to catch a glimpse of the driver I was pleasantly surprised to find Jasper looking back at me. _Oh this was going to piss Edward off even more._

I excitedly hopped in the back seat and Jasper took off at a much more comfortable pace than Edward would have. Alice instantly turned around in her seat with a huge smile on her face.

"I'm so proud of you Bella! You really stood up for yourself to Edward. That was amazing!"

I let out a giggle at Alice's compliment; it's one that I never thought that I would get. "Thanks, I just couldn't take it anymore. He's been so different this last week."

"I know. He really needed to hear that and I hope that he'll actually think about what you said."

Jasper didn't say anything as we continued to talk about school tomorrow. Alice offered to help me keep Edward in line, but I was sure that tomorrow would be better. After all we did love each other very much and I was positive that he would be more understanding now that he knew how I felt.

When we arrived at my house the cruiser was already parked out front. I checked my iPod and realized that it was already six forty-five and Charlie would be waiting for dinner. I got out of the car and Alice handed me my backpack which I had forgotten at their house in my haste to leave. I gave her a quick hug goodbye and took my bag.

"See you guys later. Thanks for the ride!"

"I'll be here in the morning to ride to school with you, if that's okay?" Alice asked.

"Sure that'll be nice. See you then."

Jasper got out of the car and was already at my side before I could finish my sentence. "May I walk you to your door Bella?"

I gave a nod of my head and turned toward my house with a final wave to Alice.

As we began walking, Jasper said quietly, "Bella I would like to thank you for your support today… and for sticking up for me."

"Not a problem Jasper. I'm sorry that Edward treated you like that. Please believe me that what he claimed was my opinion has never crossed my thoughts much less my lips. I trust you and I'm sure that you can tell that I don't fear you," I said with a knowing smirk. We arrived on my front porch, but Jasper continued talking. Obviously he didn't notice my desire to get out of the cold, wet rain and into my warm, dry house.

"I know that, and I appreciate it. I feel horrible that you and Edward are fighting about me. Please don't feel like you have to defend me to-"

"Jasper!" I interrupted as I stomped my foot in frustration. "I will always defend what I think is right and I refuse to sit back while Edward tries to control everyone. He needs to grow up and start treating people with respect; and that includes the both of us." I still couldn't believe that Edward talked so horribly about Jasper; they were family… kind of.

"I agree."

"I need to get inside and cook Charlie some dinner before he starves to death. I'll see you later."

"See ya later, Bella."

I walked into the house and leaned backwards into the front door. Today had been such a long day; I really just wanted to crawl into my bed upstairs and go to sleep. My only problem was that Charlie was expecting dinner and it was getting too late to put it off.

Suddenly there was a loud knock on the front door right behind my head. I jumped at the sound, twisting around at the same time to look at the door in surprise, as if it made the sound itself. Mid turn my feet somehow got twisted and I tripped over myself without even taking a step. I fell to the floor on my side and Charlie appeared in the doorway from the living room where I could now hear the sounds of a game of some sort on TV.

His laughter rang loud and clear when he found me sprawled out on the floor. Thankfully he didn't ask me if I was okay, and let it go with a shake of his head. I scrambled off the floor and dusted myself off as Charlie opened the door to reveal Conner delivering dinner. _Well at least I wouldn't have to cook._

I fell down twice today and both times were partially Conner's fault. I glared at him in irritation and stomped up the stairs to change into dry clothes. I couldn't figure out who I was madder at Edward, Conner or myself. It would seem that we have all had a part in fucking up my day.

I decided to take a shower hoping that it would alleviate some of my stress. I let the hot water run down my back and pound out the tension there. I couldn't seem to stop thinking of everything that happened today. It was exhausting me both physically and mentally. Edward had me stressed to my limit and I wasn't looking forward to our next conversation; it was sure to be unpleasant at the least.

My thigh began to throb after a few minutes and I turned to allow the hot water to soften the muscle that I injured in my second fall of the day. My irritation level finally lowered as the hot water washed the pain from my leg. I just needed to get through dinner and then maybe I could get away with going to bed early.

I quickly finished my shower and pulled on my holey sweats and an old shirt. I smelled the pizza that Conner delivered as soon as I opened the bathroom door. I quickly went in my room to discard my dirty clothes and toiletries and went downstairs to eat my gourmet dinner.

Charlie was sitting in his recliner in front of the TV watching a football game. The pizza and a bottle of Coke were on the table next to a plate and cup waiting for me. I sat down and dug in. I was glad that only Charlie was present to witness me like this. You would think that I hadn't eaten in weeks! The pizza was amazing with lots of piping hot, extra cheese and the Coke was so cold and bubbly. The bubbles felt so good going down my throat that they made me forget all of my troubles, however temporarily. I was in complete bliss.

We watched some football game. I have no idea who was playing; one team wore white uniforms and the other wore dark green. I had no clue what was going on. Charlie was busy cheering and yelling at the TV screen. _Who knew that Monday Night Football could evoke such emotions?_

When I finished my dinner I washed the dishes and put the remaining pizza in the fridge. "I'm going to do my homework and hit the sheets."

"Alright. Goodnight Bells."

"Goodnight Dad." I bounced up the stairs with a new pep in my step. I felt energized and ready to get my homework done. I wasn't sure what I would do once it was complete, but I wasn't feeling tired anymore.

Sadly, my homework didn't take much time to finish. I only had to do a few book problems for Math and a worksheet for Spanish. I looked around my room willing to find something to occupy my time. I figured that Renee had probably emailed me again and I should reply before she goes bat shit crazy.

While I was waiting for my ancient computer to start I heard a strange buzzing noise. I leaned closer to the tower to see if my computer was making the noise; maybe it was finally calling it quits. Nope. I checked my nightstand thinking that maybe it was my alarm clock. Still no.

Strangely it sounded like it might be coming from the direction of my closet. As I approached the door I realized that I had left my stupid, new cell phone in my jeans and it was on vibrate. I dug it out of the pocket and checked the screen. Edward was calling. Obviously; he was the only person who had the number. I pressed ignore. He was the last person that I wanted to talk to.

I walked back to my desk and tossed the irritating phone on my bed. Finally my computer was booted and I had about a million programs opened. Okay maybe not a million, but it might as well have been, as annoying as it was. I closed everything and opened my internet browser. No messages from Renee; although someone named Maraj Namjuk sent me an email offering a deal on Viagra.

I didn't have anything new to report to Renee and I didn't really feel like surfing the net, so I closed out my email and shut down my computer. Just as I turned to face my room again - in hopes of finding something to occupy my time - my stupid phone started buzzing again. This time though it only buzzed once.

I dragged my feet to the bed and dropped down dramatically. When I checked the phone I realized that it was only a text message this time. 'I need to talk to you. Can I come over please?'

I noticed instantly that Edward said that _he_ needed to talk to _me_. I was guessing that meant that he didn't plan on listening to anything that I had to say. I still wasn't in the mood to talk to him or listen to his stream of bullshit, so I didn't answer; maybe he would think that I was asleep.

I immediately turned off the phone and tossed it in the top drawer of my desk. That should shut it up.

I was so exhausted. It had felt good to get that off my chest at the family meeting, but just being around Edward lately seemed to suck out all of my energy. It was too early to go to sleep, but I didn't have much else to do. I didn't want to sit downstairs with Charlie and I sure as hell didn't want to talk with anyone and pretend that everything was okay. _Everything was definitely not okay._

I went into the bathroom and performed my nightly routine in a daze. Just the thought of Edward was enough to reverse my good mood and energy level. When I was finished I dragged myself to bed with the hope that tomorrow would be better than today. It couldn't be much worse, could it?

Edward's calls caused my mind to keep replaying my argument with him earlier without my permission. I wanted to forget about it, but my mind insisted on coming up with things that I should have said. I always seem to do that in arguments; my best material doesn't come to me until it's all over and done with. I could always turn my phone back on and call him back, but I was sure that the things that I wanted to say to him would only make the situation worse.

I sighed in frustration and rolled over, trying to find some comfort in my empty bed. I wanted so desperately to occupy my mind with something other than Edward, but a part of me missed him. I didn't want to deal with him right now; I didn't even want to think about him, but I couldn't help it. My mind needed a break from it all.

I thought about the rest of the day and Alice's story this afternoon. So much had changed and everything was skewed from what I originally thought was truth. I wasn't mad at her about it, I could understand to a point why she and Jasper had lied, but I had to admit that it was a lot to take in at once.

I replayed the conversation in my mind, in hopes of a healthy distraction from its current course.

"_As you know, when I woke up into this life I was all alone. I didn't know anything about my life before that moment… I was so afraid."_

_She let out a low sigh before continuing. "In that same moment my mind was flooded with visions. I didn't understand at first what was happening. I kept seeing myself with the Cullen's, but I had no idea who they were as I had never seen them before. Jasper showed up more than the others. I knew he was special and that we would be close._

"_I wandered around aimlessly not knowing where I would find these vampires, but that I would. Before I knew it I was in Philadelphia and I was having my strongest vision ever." A large smile spread across her face as she remembered this part of her story._

"_I saw myself in a diner with Jasper. He looked confused, but we left together. I wasn't going to be alone, I would have a friend._

"_I had seen the diner on my way into town and knew that it was on the west side. I wasn't exactly sure when my vision would play out since I couldn't see a calendar or even a clock in the background, so I went straight there. I waited for him all day. I was starting to get scared that maybe I was crazy and some serious doubt crept over me about my visions. He never came._

"_I was sure at this point that I was crazy, so I tried to avoid and ignore my visions. I became depressed and believed that I would have to live out my existence solitarily. I even contemplated feeding off of humans since I was sure that the Cullen's were all a figment of my wild imagination. About a week later I decided to leave Philly and head out west. I wanted to change locations hoping that I would come across another of my kind, I was so lonely." _

I hadn't thought much before about any of the Cullen's lives before they were part of the family. It was sad to know now that Alice had been so alone and afraid. I couldn't even picture her anything other than the way she was now.

"_One day a couple weeks later I was wandering around not paying attention to where I was. I happened to pass that same diner that I had the vision of meeting Jasper in and saw an ordinary man sitting by himself at a table by the window drinking coffee. I remembered him from my vision because he was wearing a hideous olive green and brown tweed suit with shiny black shoes. I went into the diner to sneak a peek at his feet to be absolutely positive that this was the same man; and can you believe it? Shiny black shoes!" she exclaimed through her laughter. _

Only Alice would be worried about someone's fashion sense as she was contemplating a solitary existence. It made me happy to know that even in her depression she was still the Alice that I know and love today.

_She stifled her giggles and continued with her story. "The second that I saw his shoes I made the decision to wait for Jasper. I was sure that my visions were true and I would meet him that day. I waited for hours. The man in the ugly suit left which made me really scared since he had been in the background of my vision. I figured that Jasper wasn't coming since the man was no longer there, but there was a part of me holding on to the last hope that I would finally meet another of my kind._

"_Every hour I got a refill on my coffee and would dump it out in the sink when no one was looking as I silently promised myself that I would only wait another hour. Every hour I made the same promise and every hour I met only disappointment. I was certain by noon that he wasn't coming that day, but I refused to give up on him. The waitress asked me a couple times if I was okay because I wasn't eating and I had been there for hours. I told her that I was waiting to meet my friend and she left me alone._

"_Just when I was about to give up and leave, the same man who was there that morning for breakfast came back for lunch. I began to feel hope again and was so happy that I could hardly stay in my seat. I could feel it in my soul that my life was about to change for the better; I wouldn't have to be alone much longer. This also cemented my faith in my visions, now I knew that I would have a family one day._

"_By the time that Jasper walked into that diner it was packed with people running inside form the rain. He looked like the embodiment of how I had felt since I was changed; scared, sad and confused. He had dark circles under his completely black eyes. His skin was sallow and pale; he looked as if he hadn't fed in months. The expression on his face showed that he was uncomfortable and having a lot of difficulty around so may warm bodies._

"_I ran up to him and he recognized me as a vampire immediately. I was so excited that I could hardly contain myself. I knew in that moment that my visions were true and that we would be happy together and with the Cullen's. Jasper, of course, thought that I was crazy, but he was so nice to me. We left the diner together and went to a nearby park with a lot of tree cover to shield us from the rain. _

"_We sat there for hours trying to decipher my visions and figure out what we wanted to do. There was no question about if we were going to head off together. We were both so lonely and desperate for companionship._

"_The first thing we did was find Peter and Charlotte; they're old friends of Jasper's. We found them in Ohio and went with them to their 'home base' of sorts. They had this great cabin that they had built in the middle of nowhere in Idaho. We had so much fun there. Peter is hilarious and Charlotte and I clicked instantly. _

"_I showed all of them how I had been surviving on animal blood and they all gave it a try. Peter and Charlotte only did it to support Jasper because they knew how human's emotions affected him while feeding. They hoped that this would be a better alternative for him. Peter hated it and wouldn't speak to me for a week. Charlotte was much more open-minded and appreciative to know that she could do it if circumstances demanded it. _

"_It was there that Jasper and I attempted to further our relationship. We already cared about each other so much and my visions showed that we would be very close in the future; so we figured that we were destined to be together._

"_We left Peter and Charlotte to go off on our own. We traveled the US, mostly in the north. We were together for a whole year before I finally grew the courage and spoke up that it just didn't feel right. I was so scared to hurt his feelings, but he agreed that he preferred us as friends. Jasper would never do anything to hurt someone intentionally and he was afraid that the love he felt from me meant that I was in love with him. He didn't say anything because he didn't want to hurt me. Thankfully for the both of us that the only love I felt for him was as a friend._

"_We decided to put some effort into finding the Cullen's, and trying to join their family. Every vision that I had of meeting them showed that Jasper and I were pretending to be a couple. We had no idea why, but we agreed that it was safest to follow the vision._

"_Right before we met the Cullen's, Jasper decided that he didn't want to lie to those that we would consider family. I had a horrible vision of Edward attacking Jasper out of fear of his scars. It turned into a huge mess, Edward was dead and Jasper was alone - and feeding on humans again. I couldn't bear to think of that happening, so I convinced Jasper that it was the only way. I never told him exactly what would happen." _

I wondered idly what Jasper's reaction would be if Alice had told him what her vision held. Would he still have come with her to join the Cullen family? I didn't think that he would ever consider Edward his brother if he knew that outcome, but I didn't know him well enough to know if he would still follow Alice. In fact I really didn't know anything about Jasper; we were rarely ever near each other. I was confused about what Alice meant by Jasper having scars; he had flawless skin just like the rest of the family.

"_We fell into a comfortable friendship. I haven't been closer to anyone, and I haven't seen a closer relationship between anyone in my existence other than a mated couple. It was so comfortable and safe to keep things exactly how they were. Neither of us wanted to lose that, but we didn't want to lie either._

"_Jasper has wanted to tell the family the truth so many times over the years. He really feels horrid for lying, he is such an honest person, but-"_

_Alice suddenly stiffened where she sat. I moved toward her to get a closer look. She was staring at nothing, intently with a glazed look in her eyes. I recognized that she was having a vision and waited another minute for her to come out of it._

"Alice?"

"_We need to go downstairs, they're almost back."_

"_I should leave. I don't need to be here for this."_

"_Of course you do! You're part of this family."_

"_But-"_

"_I need you there. I need help with moral support." _I couldn't very well refuse my best friend in her hour of need. Although I didn't want to be present for what was sure to be a lot of drama, I knew that I couldn't just leave.

"_Why are they coming back early?" _I wanted to hear the rest of Alice's explanation. I couldn't figure out why she and Jasper had to continue to lie all these years, and was sure that's what she was about to explain. I was a bit irritated that we had been interrupted.

"_Jasper couldn't take it anymore. He's ready to come clean at the meeting."_ Well now I felt bad for being irritated by the interruption. Jasper has had to carry this load for so long, he was anxious to unload it. I couldn't fault him for that.

Thinking back on the conversation, and my thoughts regarding what Alice and Jasper had gone through; I got even angrier with Edward. He was so cruel to Jasper at the meeting and Jasper was the one who wanted to tell them the truth so badly. He was the one who felt the worst about lying to his family. After seeing the reactions of the family, I was sure that Edward was the reason that they had to lie all this time. I became even angrier with him at that revelation… if that was possible.

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**End Note:** I really love reviews, and I always respond. Please tell me what you liked or didn't like in this chapter or the story so far. *puppy dog face*


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